In the New Year, I Hope You Finally Choose Yourself
HolidaysThe Holidays

In the New Year, I Hope You Finally Choose Yourself

I hope you stop putting other people first and learn it isn’t selfish to choose the person looking back at you in the mirror.

I hope you stop running yourself so thin and learn to take a break. Even though slowing down isn’t anything that comes naturally to you.

I hope you stop living life according to some calendar and to do list feeling fulfilled when you mark something off but looking back and realizing you haven’t actually lived.

I hope on your list of priorities you stop putting yourself second and learn taking care of yourself and loving yourself will amplify every other relationship you have.

I hope you learn to stop looking for love like it’s supposed to fill the empty parts of you. That sometimes you have to learn to really be okay alone. Being brave enough to admit you might not be ready for a relationship. Even if you really want one. Recognizing there are parts of yourself that need to learn more and improve before you can let someone in your life.

Ensuring that when you are ready to date that person gets the best version of you.

I hope you learn to say no to some people who don’t deserve your time and attention.

I hope you learn to say goodbye to the toxic people in your life. The one who use you. The ones who text you and you feel uneasy like they are just going to demand something of you.

I hope you only choose people who really push you forward and the only gain, each of you gets is from your presence.

I hope you learn you don’t always have to be the one paying for things or meeting people or organizing things. I hope you learn to let people take care of you sometimes. I hope the people you choose are the ones who are going to meet you halfway.

I hope you learn to let go of the things and people that are draining you.

Learn to let go of the things and people you hold onto a little too tightly and realize the only reason the connection is even there is because of you. That’s sometimes you have to let go to see who still is holding on.

I hope you learn to take a step back for yourself. Not allow FOMO to consume your life when in reality you know you should be saving money when you have certain financial goals you haven’t reached yet because of the company you are choosing.

I hope you learn to really look at the people you surround yourself and even though there might be history there it doesn’t mean they belong in your future.That sometimes toxic people are the ones who know us best and it’s hard to say goodbye to them but they aren’t people who are going to push you to become the version of yourself you want to be. In fact, they’ve been holding you back this whole time and you’ve been allowing it.

I hope you learn to stop playing the victim card and blaming others when you’re the one who has complete control of your life.

I hope you learn to let go of that old love that haunts you. That sometimes letting go isn’t weakness but strength. Realizing there’s nothing new to revisit in the past.

Sometimes it’s better to just move on then cut your fingers trying to put something back together that’s broken.

I hope you reach the fitness goals you’ve had with every year and this be the year you actually achieve it. Learning to commit to yourself and your physical health and well being. You don’t need some fad diet or personal trainer you can’t afford. You just need to get up and go and take it one day at a time. And when you wake up not wanting to put your running shoes on, I hope you find the willpower to overcome yourself. Because you are the only one holding yourself back from where you are and where you want to be.

I hope you learn that taking care of yourself isn’t a waste of an investment. But where all your energy should have been this whole time.

Providing your body with the things it needs as opposed to that cookie you might want in the moment. Knowing a single step back might not make a difference in the long run but that you’d rather move forward.

I hope you learn that a workout isn’t a punishment and eating well isn’t some phase but the fundamental building blocks for change.

I hope you choose people who support your dreams and goals and don’t try and deter you from achieving them.

I hope you realize the goals you might have aren’t always about concrete change but rather the change within yourself that sometimes only you might see. You aren’t doing it for the insta likes or some transformation Tuesday. Because sometimes the greatest change isn’t what we see but what we feel.

I hope when you choose yourself you’re doing it for you. Not to prove someone wrong. Not to make an ex-jealous. Choose yourself because you should have been your number one choice this whole time.

I hope you forgive yourself for putting others first and not valuing yourself the way you should have.

Maybe you’ve lived your life trying to make others happy only to realize appeasing everyone else fades when you’ve given them everything you can and there’s nothing left you have to offer them.

I hope you walk away from those people because it’s only when you stop trying that you see who is in your life for the right reasons.

The people who value the fact you took time out of your day to see them, talk to them, listen to them.

The ones who watch you finally choose yourself and applaud you for it and not resent you because you no longer benefit them. The people who have watched others take you for granted and take advantage of you and use you but never followed in their example.

I hope you forgive yourself for your mistakes and not dwell more than you have because we all do things we aren’t proud of and we wish we could change.

There will always be people you let down and disappoint. But the people who matter will always be the ones in your corner regardless of whatever choice you’ve made. Helping you to learn and grow.

They will always be the one supporting you. Loving you. Choosing you. The same way you should have been doing all these things for yourself.

I hope you stop looking at what other people have and start appreciating everything about yourself. Learning to see yourself the ways others do.

When happiness is about others sometimes people tend to see everything good about someone else while seeing themselves through skewed lenses. I hope this is the year you see yourself through the eyes of the people who love and admire you most.

Choosing yourself it’s not going to be easy. With it comes discomfort and resistance because maybe you’ve never put yourself and your happiness first.

Maybe you associate happiness with others and happiness alone isn’t familiar.

On the road to finding out what makes you happy, you’re going to run into a lot of things that don’t. You’re going to have a lot of nights where you’re alone and confused and uncertain. You’re going to feel lost at some points along the way. But those feelings are just as important because when you do find that thing that makes you want to get up in the morning, you’ll have those days you struggled to compare it to.

And in those moments you’ll find yourself most grateful.

In those moments you’ll find what real happiness is.

And you’ll look back wishing you chose yourself sooner. TC mark

Related

About the author
Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words. Follow Kirsten on Instagram or read more articles from Kirsten on Thought Catalog.

Learn more about Thought Catalog and our writers on our about page.