I don’t want to be another statistic.
Growing up a lot of my friend’s parents were divorced. I took a lot of pride in saying my parents weren’t. I always wanted that for myself and for my kids. I know marriage isn’t easy. With statistics that look something like 42 to 45% marriages ending in divorce, it’s hard to believe you can be on the other end of that but you can be.
I don’t believe in giving up on someone.
We’re in a generation where we have almost too many options. The paradox of choice is what it’s referred to. With a million dating apps and people at the touch of a finger, dating is easier than ever but because these options are so endless, that’s what makes it hard. Finding genuine connections. Not getting bored. Not giving up.
My vows aren’t just going to be the person standing in front of me, those vows are to a future that is uncertain, those vows are there to remind us what we promised each other on a day that was one of the best of our lives.
You don’t give up when something gets difficult and you don’t just stop trying when things aren’t perfect. You fight through it. You fight for each other. And you fight for those vows.
I don’t believe in cheating.
We all get tempted sometimes. We’ve all been at the crossroad where we could have made a choice but cheating will always be the wrong one. To cheat on someone means you are breaking a vow first but also means you don’t respect someone and the life you’ve built together. It means you are willing to throw away everything you have.
I’ve never cheated on someone I’ve dated and I sure as hell will never cheat the person I marry. Marriage means you’re choosing that person until death do you part. And that’s the vow I’ll always honor.
I want to give my kids an example to follow.
Just like I was able to look at my parents and want a marriage that lasts, I want my kids to look at myself and their father and hope to find a love like that. The relationship your parents have is the first one a child will see and I want it to be a good one. I want them to grow up and have high standards in whom they choose because that’s the example they were given.
Because I refuse to settle in love.
I believe love is the last thing in life you should ever settle for. And I believe the person you end up marrying is the one you should have every bit of confidence in without any doubt. You deserve to look at someone and be that sure and you deserve to have someone look at you that way. Until you meet someone like that doesn’t consider marrying them.
I’m a person of my word.
If I tell you I’m going to do something I do it. It’s that simple. So if I’m making a promise to someone to be with them the rest of my life, that’s it for me.
I want that 50-year love story.
I look forward to growing old with someone. Overcoming every milestone with them. Looking back when our hands and wrinkled and we get older and knowing we made it. Against every statistic. Every odd. Every struggle. We came out of it together still holding one another’s hand.
Out of all of the sacraments, marriage is the one I value most.
While I’m not the most religious, of the things I’ve learned to value in the time religion has played a role in my life is the belief in marriage. Is the hope to be married in a church. Is wanting it to be a Catholic wedding. Maybe it’s the hopeless romantic in me who puts love on such a pedestal but I think it deserves to be there.
They are the only family I’ll get to choose.
A spouse is the only family member you get to choose. And when you make the right choice it reflects every generation after that. You pick a good person who you love and care about, someone who shares in your values and your beliefs and you’ll raise a good family together. While so much of it is about loving the person standing in front of you, it’s making the choice to continue to love them for all of the days of your life.
That’s something I truly look forward to. I look forward to being with someone every single day. I look forward to waking up next to the same person every single day. I look forward to building a family with someone and building our own traditions.
People can tell me it’s unrealistic to believe in love and relationships and marriage so much. They can tell me problems will occur. I’m not in denial of it. I’m not saying it will be easy. And every statistic can get thrown at me but the person I end up choosing will the one who helps me to overcome it.
Because I believe in love more than anything else in the entire world and I believe when it’s right there isn’t anything you can’t overcome together.