The Toxic Attraction Between A Good Girl And A Complicated Bad-Boy

Gossip Girl

“You have interesting taste in people.”

I looked at them, rolling my eyes.

“I know everyone thinks I date assholes.”

And I do. Or did.

But what people don’t know and I don’t care to explain to them is the people who seem most rough around the edges, the people who seem to not care about anything, the ones who have gotten almost too good at having a hard exterior are the ones who are worth the effort to get there.

We stood at a Halloween party.

And out of the corner of my eye, the only person who caught my interest was the one sitting alone not dressed.

“He’s bad news,” a friend whispered in my ear like she knew exactly what my next move was going to be, as I a grabbed a handle of fireball and walked over.

I knew his reputation.

But I also knew there was so much more to people than what others said about them.

We threw back alcohol that tasted bitter and soon every wall came down between us.

The thing about good girls is they know how to navigate and read people better than anyone.

They don’t speak often but watch ever so closely and listen.

They move these types of guys around like they are some pawn in a game of chess that they always win.

But they never lead on that they are winning. Their poker face is one that they practiced and mastered.

But every complicated guy has that one girl who has beaten him at his own game.

Someone he runs in circles with. Someone who gets it. And it’s an ‘it’ he can’t even explain. And as complicated and as toxic as it might be sometimes, at the end of the day, they would do anything for each other.

You give a good girl a complicated guy and she looks at it as a challenge.

The truth is she doesn’t do boring well.

She doesn’t do average.

She looks for people who have something a little more than that.

Captivated by complexity.

Welcoming trouble with a coy smile.

Eager to learn about scars.

That tell stories too beautiful for words.

They say the more time and effort you put into creating a sculpture, the more time you have to perfect those finite details, which results in a better outcome overall.

Well, people are the same way.

You give her an asshole or a player and she’ll show you someone that got hurt by someone.

You give her someone who says they don’t feel anything deeply, she’ll find the thing they are hiding that they care most about.

You give her someone cocky who walks into a place thinking he runs it, she’ll find their insecurities.

You give her someone who hides behind sarcasm and trying to be too funny, she’ll show you someone who isn’t fully happy with themselves.

You give her someone who is a workaholic who ‘doesn’t have time for anything but their career’ and she’ll find the reasons they don’t tell you, they are working that hard or what they are afraid of.

The version people project of themselves out to the world isn’t an accurate depiction of who they actually are.

A good girl knows that.

A good girl lives it.

A good girl thrives because of that.

Maybe she does have a bad taste in people.

Maybe she likes a challenge.

Maybe she likes that people aren’t what they seem.

But there is something about the guy who swears he’s cold and heartless but holds you as you watch his favorite show and he’s laughing like a child.

There is something about the guy who says he doesn’t feel things deeply but saved the letter you wrote him years ago.

There’s something about a guy who swears he hates romance but asks you to slow dance.

There’s something about a guy who says he doesn’t care but pulls out your chair, opens every door, and doesn’t let you pay.

There’s something about the guy who says he ‘doesn’t answer to anyone’ but does whatever you tell him

There’s something about the guy who says he hates commitment and ‘can’t-do this’ but shows up every time you need him there.

There’s something about the guy who says he doesn’t believe in love but means it when he whispers, ‘I love you.’

There’s something about the guy who says he hates New Year’s but is standing at your doorstep because you’re the only one he wanted to be with.

Once you break through those walls and fall in love with someone like that there’s no going back to normal. TC mark

Kirsten Corley

Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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