18 Reasons He Might Have Ghosted You

Ghosting
Thought Catalog

1. You jumped really quickly into it.

Sometimes in relationships, you guys hit it off immediately, that honeymoon stage gives you butterflies suddenly you’re exchanging in conversation all day, seeing each other every other day, everything is perfect. Be wary of the relationships that happen too quickly or seem perfect. They never are right off the bat. And I promise you it will freak him out how good it is at first. That’s when he’s going to pull away and how you respond to him doing that will dictate if there is a relationship in the future.

2. You expected too much too fast.

It’s good to have expectations. It’s bad to have unrealistic ones. Don’t expect more than what he’s able to give. And don’t have these absurd expectations too quickly. Have standards but don’t make him feel like he has to jump through hoops of fire to keep you satisfied.

3. You let him get away with disrespecting you.

Guys are like children. And I don’t mean that insulting men in any way. What I mean is guys are going to push you just to see what they can get away with. If they suddenly start treating you differently and you don’t respond or walk away yourself and call them out on it, they know you don’t have self-respect and they lose respect for you. A guy treating you poorly is a test.

4. You believed what you wanted not what was actually true.

You’re making him into someone he isn’t. You are praising him and admiring him and when you put someone on a pedestal there is pressure to maintain that.

5. You slept with him too fast.

“Why buy a cow when you get the milk for free.” When you sleep with someone too quickly it’s too easy. There’s gotta be a little bit of a chase and mystery. Even if it’s something you don’t do often if you tell him that he’s not going to believe you. Build up to a physical relationship, don’t one of your best cards immediately.

6. You got inside your own head and apologized too often.

Self-doubt will ruin every relationship you have. And if you aren’t confident in who you are and the choices you make, a guy won’t be confident in you and if you’re the one for him. Stop apologizing and overthinking everything you say and do. Just go for it.

7. You keep choosing the wrong people.

Choosing someone who is emotionally unavailable. Choosing someone when they tell you they don’t want to a relationship or aren’t ready for one. All of these things will lead to this confusion of someone coming and going because they are unsure of themselves. You know when you’re choosing the wrong guy because when he ghosts you, you aren’t surprised.

8. He didn’t have to earn your time and attention.

When you give 110% almost immediately and he doesn’t have to work for your time, attention and interest he’s going to think you’re desperate and just settling for anyone who gives you even a little bit.

9. You were clingy.

Clingy girls are insecure girls. Guys look at that and think I’m going to have to give them so much time and attention and that’s unattractive.

10. He just didn’t care enough.

Sometimes you just don’t hit it off and instead of explaining that there wasn’t a spark or he’s just going to drop off the face of the earth.

11. There was some tiny turn off he couldn’t live with.

We all have little things. Maybe it was a habit of yours, he never noticed, maybe it’s the way you live your life. But there was some little thing that just made everything attractive about you before make him come to a halt and just turn the other way.

12. Someone else he liked more came into the picture.

That girl he had a crush on for a while suddenly became interested when she realized he wasn’t available now. That friend that always turned to him finally broke up with her shitty ex. We all have people in our lives that feelings don’t go away so if they come around, we drop anyone for them. And occasionally even if you had a good few dates and the conversation was great, he met someone else and it was just a little better.

13. You messed up.

You drank too much the second or third date. You said something that shot up a red flag. Sometimes we fuck up relationships ourselves and it isn’t always the guy’s fault. When that happens though there is no fixing it. You just gotta move on.

14. He was dealing with personal shit he didn’t tell you about.

If a guy likes you enough he’s going to tell you what’s up right at the beginning. He doesn’t want you to be confused or doubt him. But sometimes guys don’t want to bring it up and the things they are dealing with at home are taking up too much time and energy and that’s where their priorities are that they drop a potential relationship all together.

15. You were the rebound.

Sometimes guys just need to have sex after they got hurt. Is it wrong…maybe. But that’s how a lot of guys deal with breakups and you can’t take it personally.

16. He wanted to keep you around in the future.

Sometimes guys aren’t ready for you and they drop off the face of the earth just so they can come back when other parts of their life are situated.

17. He wasn’t over his ex.

Sometimes their ex will come back and whatever relationship you shared doesn’t compare to the past and history they shared.

18. He just didn’t like you and didn’t know how to say it.

Sometimes guys just don’t like you, just as you don’t like certain guys and do the slow fade out guys tend to be a little more blunt about it and just disappear.

When someone ghosts you, the best thing you can do isn’t ask why or blow up their phone and lose your shit questioning yourself. Wish them well and move on. Someone ghosting you has more to do with them than it does you. I can guarantee you if you handle being ghosted well, they will come back around apologizing. Then it will be up to you if you decide if you want them in your life. TC mark

Kirsten Corley

Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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