When You Lead Her On This Is What You’re Really Doing

God & Man

1. When you lead her on what you are really doing is making her question herself.

You’re making her think she’s crazy for interrupting things the way she has.

But you are the one changing your tune every so often.

It’s the texts you choose not to answer and she knows you saw it.

But then you blow up her phone when she pulls away.

2. When you lead her on you make her think she’s the one not good enough.

Because no matter what she does or how hard she tries it’s never good enough for you.

It’s the attention you give her one minute only to pull away from the next.

It’s the kind gestures that are followed by neglect as the constant phrase of, “what the fuck” runs through her mind.

It’s you doing things not to be genuine but out of guilt or rather to gain a sense of control over her.

It’s the plans you cancel because you’ve made her a choice while she’s made you a priority.

But you aren’t the one hurt as she sits there dressed up with nowhere to go.

3. When you lead her on what you are really doing you’re making her question her judgment.

Because there’s gotta be something wrong with her for investing time and emotion into someone who doesn’t care.

You make her question her confidence as she thinks she has to change something about her.

And she tries to.

4. When you lead her on you make her question love.

Because while she’s giving her whole heart to someone what she’s getting back is pain.

She now associates love with heartbreak. Love with loneliness. Love with jealousy. Love with unkindness.
You’re making her feel lonely even in those moments you are right next to her.

You’re making her jealous just to see her reaction.

You’re choosing to be unkind because you know she’ll never say anything back or give you what you deserve.

5. When you lead her on you are wasting her time and energy.

You are taking a spot in her heart that you don’t deserve.

You are accepting the love that’s given freely even though you know you’ll never reciprocate it.

While you are bored just killing time to entertain the idea of her she looks at you and hopes there could be a future.

6. When you lead her on you are lying to her every day.

Because you and I both know you don’t actually want her.

You don’t actually like her.

You like the idea of her.

You like her attention.

You like that she cares and you don’t have to.

But she deserves more than that. She deserves more than you. And the truth is you’ve never been good enough for her.

It’s just gonna take someone else to show her that.

The kindest best thing you can do for her just step aside and let someone love her the way you can’t. TC mark

Kirsten Corley

Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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