I Wish No One Would Ever Confuse You Or Play Games

“All of these games, we play I can’t even keep ’em all straight. Do we mean what we say? We got lines crossed all over the place, yeah I can’t tell if I’m winning or losing. Somebody tell me what are we doing? This break-up, make-up, hot and cold thing got me dizzy. You don’t want me til I got somebody with me.” – Luke Bryan

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I wish love were simply for you. I wish the people you cared for could see the value in you investing emotions and feelings into them. I wish people would see the effort you put into a relationship and reciprocate it.

I wish you’d never question yourself based on someone else’s inability to see your worth. I wish you wouldn’t look at your reflection fixating upon flaws you wish you could change. I wish you wouldn’t compare yourself to others.

But more than that I wish people wouldn’t play you or mess with your head.

I wish they wouldn’t send mix signals.

I wish they’d stop seeming like they were interested one day then ignore you the next.

I wish they’d stop the games.

I wish they’d stop blowing up your Instagram every time they ignore a text because everyone knows they saw it and no one is too busy.

I wish they’d stop opening your snap texts than look at your story only further to confirm they are in fact ignoring you.

I wish they’d stop tagging you in shit and sharing things because, in that moment, they are sending the signal they are thinking of you. But then they shut it off.

I wish they’d stop viewing your story first only to post one themselves in hopes you look at theirs too.

I wish they’d stop giving you attention the moment you try and pull away only to blow up your phone when you’re busy.

I wish they’d stop pretending they like you only to later give you reasons why you can’t be together.

I wish people would stop with the blurry lines and confusion just because it’s some power move to boost their ego.

I wish people would make it simple.

Either stay or leave and stop going back and fourth fumbling through things they can’t figure out themselves.

Because it isn’t you, they are doubting but they, themselves.

I wish people would stop canceling on you when I know you were looking forward to the plans but in the back of your head you knew not to get your hopes up.

I wish people would stop building up emotional relationships across social media but refuse to have IRL relationships. Because relationships are so much more than a like and a share and who views what first and who is better at making some strategic move.

Because everyone knows it isn’t just a like when the person only choose certain things.

Because everyone knows the person who views your snap story consistently first means something even if they don’t want to admit it.

Everyone makes these moves just waiting to see how you react and it’s a constant battle of who cares less.

I wish relationships could be simple and easy and not painful.

I wish everyone was as honest as you. I wish everyone cared the way you do.

I wish everyone had the same heart you did because then they’d realize the implications of their actions.

Because you don’t deserve games and confusion. You don’t deserve to be led on.

You deserve what you’d give someone else. And one day someone is going to see the value in you and not have to hurt you first to get there. TC mark

Kirsten Corley

Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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