When Someone Is Quiet, This Is What They’re Really Saying

 Oksana Lorlova
Oksana Lorlova

Our silence doesn’t mean we are weak.

A lot of people think they can walk all over those who are quiet and timid. And maybe we will let you get away with pushing us around sometimes but not always.

We just choose the right battles.

When something isn’t right or someone is getting hurt, we will be the first going to bat for them. We fight for the things that matter and we fight for the things we believe in.

Our silence doesn’t mean we are judging you…

There’s this misconceived notion that quiet people are judgmental, as they just sit there taking everything in. The truth is sometimes our silence makes us insecure. Sometimes the person who brings a lot of energy to the room and is the center of attention intimidates us because we know we could never be that person even if we tried.

Sometimes we hope you aren’t judging us.

Just as you think we’re judging you, we’re overcome with fear that you’re judging us.

Our silence isn’t us thinking we are better than you.

When we’re quiet there’s an assumption that we’re choosing to be because we don’t want to be bothered or we’re snobby and think we’re better. That isn’t the truth at all. And if you got to know us, you’d realize we are the most down to earth level headed people you know.

Sometimes we are listening to learn.

The quote by Epictetus, ‘we have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak,’ is our life. We know we will gain more taking everything in than we ever will talking.

Our silence isn’t because we don’t like you.

Quiet people have this rep that they don’t like anyone. But we’re so in tune with people simply by observing, we see the looks we get, we see the rolling eyes, we hear what you’re actually saying when you say it only to be nice. People who are quiet will be the first to know you don’t like them.

We just won’t say anything if we know you don’t like us.

And if we know you don’t like us, we aren’t going to try and win you over or say things you don’t even want to hear, we’ll just choose silence.

Our silence doesn’t mean we don’t have anything to say.

Quiet people have a million thoughts running in their head at once. But we’ve mastered the art of knowing not everything we think, needs to come out of our mouth.

But we will speak when it’s important.

We don’t understand people who talk just to hear themselves talk. Because the things we do say even if it’s few and far between probably have more weight and value than that noise.

Our silence doesn’t mean we’re unhappy.

Quiet people aren’t the most unhappy ones in the room.

Sometimes we are just enjoying the moment.

We just don’t openly express happy moments verbally but in our heads, we are counting our blessings and showing appreciation.

Our silence doesn’t mean it’s okay.

If ever we fight, we might choose to be silent. The truth is we are still trying to understand everything that might have hit us at once. We won’t let our emotions cloud our judgment and we don’t want to say things out of anger we might regret.

Sometimes we are really upset and don’t know how to deal with it.

Being alone with our thoughts is the best way to handle a situation before it needs to be addressed. In fact being alone we don’t mind at all.

Our silence doesn’t mean we are pushing you away.

Sometimes quiet people are simply waiting for someone to ask them what they think or ask to hear what they have to say.

We just hope you are the one to pull us in.

We are just waiting for someone who cares to let us into their world first.

More than anything we want someone who understands us even when we aren’t speaking. But we know we aren’t easy. We know we might have walls up. But more than anything we want to trust you and form a deep connection it just takes us a little while to get there.

We’ll always be someone you can trust and confide in.

Whether we are friends or not, if you turn to us and need help we’ll listen without judgment. We’ll speak trying to find solutions. And we are the best secret keepers, so when you tell us something in confidence we’ll respect that.

Remember not everyone or everything is what it seems.

Most the time the first impression you have of someone who is quiet is so wrong. Give them a little bit of a chance because what you do you’ll realize sometimes the quietest people add the most value to the worlds they choose to have a voice in.TC mark

Kirsten Corley

Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words.

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