I Know You Haven’t Made Your Mind Up Yet But I Would Never Do You Wrong

 Thought.is
Thought.is

I can see it in your tired eyes how wary you are, maybe not of me but others who have left you tainted. I can see it in your smile that very same thing you might want you also fear. I can feel it when you hold me close that it isn’t me you’re afraid of that rather love.

And I know you’ve been hurt in the past. I know you’ve felt alone. I know there are late nights where you lay there and you’re wondering where you are going and what you are doing and is it right? I know you look over at a bed you used to share and you miss that company.

I know you want to be happy. Like truly happy to a point where people myself who can read you like a book don’t question it. And I know you don’t want to look at me and lie because I can see right through you.

I know there are questions you still have and things you need to figure out on your own. And I’ll do anything to help you get there. And I know you’re confused and fumbling for answers not so much about me but about yourself.

But the thing is you don’t need to be as alone as you think you do.

I know you’re as afraid as I am of what could be here.

Neither of us is saying anything but I can feel it. I know you can too. It’s more than that look we give each other like some staring contest of who is first to look away. It’s more than a simple touch as we pass. It’s more than a smile when I see you out of the corner of my eye watching me. It’s a hug that lingers longer than it should and the attention we give only each other in a crowd. I can’t be the only one feeling that so deeply.

And I know you don’t want to get hurt. But I will never hurt you. I promise you that. I know you don’t want to lose me either. But the thing you should know is no matter what happens you never will.

I know there’s a lot at stake here. But high-risk high reward right?

So why take this kind of chances? Why risk losing each other? Why risk heartbreak and sleepless night if we know it can go completely wrong.

We do this because on the other side of rejection and these feelings not reciprocated is everything we are both looking for.

That empty feeling you have inside you I feel it too except when I’m around you, I don’t. That loneliness goes away the second you enter the room. And no matter who I’m with or what I’m doing if you aren’t there I miss you.

More than anything I want you happy and more than that I want to be a part of it.

The truth is, I think the world of you. The truth is, I’d risk it all if there was even a slight chance I’m right about this. The truth is, I’m already not sleeping as you consume every thought. The truth is, I miss you before you even leave. The truth is, you are everything I could hope for in a person.

And it’s okay you’re confused. It’s okay you don’t have it all figured out just yet. If you let me, I’ll help you figure it out because you’re the only thing that’s made sense in my life lately.

It’s okay if you’re scared of this thing too. But I hold onto hope more than fear.

Because the truth is I’d rather go for something I know could be great than allow silence to leave me with regret.

I can’t give up on this feeling and I don’t have it in me to just walk away.

Because every time I do I look back at you wondering if you’re heart is beating as fast as mine.

Because every time I walk away I just want to turn back around and not have to say goodbye.

Because every time I walk away I look forward to our next hello.

And every day I wake up alone, I hope to see your name on my screen when I reach for my phone. Because the truth is you are the only one that matters.

I know there’s a lot at stake and even more that can go wrong.

But what if we are the one thing that’s right?

Everyone tells me to stop trying. Everyone tells me to give up. Everyone says I’m wasting my time. But there’s something about you I believe in. There’s this feeling I can’t let go of.

And as much as I don’t want to get hurt again I’d take this chance for you.

If ever there’s a moment you’re thinking of me too, know that I’ll never do you wrong. Know that I’ll never hurt you. Know that I’ll continue to try to give my best because that’s what you deserve of someone.

I know it’ll be me hurt if this ends. But I’d take that kind of chance if it meant being yours for even a moment.

Because even if you hurt me, I’d still love you with every broken piece of my heart.

Because without reason or logic there’s something about you I believe in.

I’ve always believed in you. And I’ve been yours I’ve just been waiting for you to realize it and ask that of me. TC mark

Kirsten Corley

Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words.

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