8 Ways You’re Making Love Harder Than It Has To Be


1. You’re loving the wrong people.

Do you ever wonder why relationships kind of always end the same way? You go for the same type of person which is leading to the exact same result. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and hoping something different happens.

Or you’re loving someone and investing time into them and you know they don’t feel the same way. Yet you keep trying. You love the wrong people like it’s a game but what you lose is your heart.

2. You aren’t letting go of an ex.

You still answer them every time they text you. You consider them a friend. You still secretly hope you’ll get back together. You haven’t allowed yourself to heal completely and a piece of you will always want them, as long as they’re in the picture.

3. You’re too afraid to be loved the right way.

The only thing scarier than falling in love is the possibly of it ending. And sometimes you’re paralyzed with fear of heartbreak, so you don’t even open yourself up to the possibly of love. Instead, you stay numb for your own safety. But the reality of it is, you’re hurting yourself more by not allowing love into your life. Or you push it away the moment it comes knocking.

4. You cling to pain.

You replay every breakup. You anticipate relationships going wrong. You go through long periods of looking back at the past and mourning, instead of living in the moment.

You choose to rip off that bandaid too soon, just to see if it still hurts.

You text your ex just to talk but really you want to see if they’ll answer. You hook up with someone even though you know it’ll hurt leaving the next morning. You cling to pain because you want to know you feel anything at all.

5. You have unrealistic expectations.

You look back at old relationships and instead of seeing them for what they really were, you put the relationship on some pedestal. You forget about the bad moments. You only focus on the good stuff. It’s impossible for anyone to live up to an expectation that isn’t the reality. Because the truth is, even your ex can’t live up to the person you made them out to be.

You compare people instead of giving them a fair shot. Or you let movies and shows dictate how you think relationships should be, instead of realizing and appreciating someone might be trying to give you their best.

6. You’re negative.

The law of attraction works very simply, what you have in your life is everything you’ve brought upon yourself. It’s no one else’s fault. It’s every negative thought you have. It’s the negative things you say about yourself or how you perceive love. If you want love in your life, you must be a vessel that attracts it.

7. You don’t take chances.

You say you like someone but you don’t do anything about it. You say you’re unhappy being single but you make no effort to go on dates or meet people. You’re frozen with fear of doing anything at all, so nothing happens. Then you wonder why.

8. You haven’t learned to love yourself yet.

It’s not about being conceited or cocky. It’s about looking at yourself in the mirror and knowing you deserve the absolute best and it’s being able to walk away from people who aren’t giving that to you. Self-love is the foundation of successful relationships. And if you haven’t figured out how to love yourself, how do you expect to teach others to? People treat you the way you treat yourself. So if you haven’t found love yet, reevaluate the relationship you have with the person looking back at you in the mirror.Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Writer living in Hoboken, NJ with my 2 dogs.

Keep up with Kirsten on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok and kirstencorley.com

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