You’ll Figure It All Out, Even If You Don’t Know What That ‘It’ Is

 Polina Chydes
Polina Chydes

It seems like everyone is kind of on all these different tracks right? And even though there’s no rush to wherever ‘there’ is, sometimes it feels people are speeding past you and you’re falling behind. You open facebook and there’s wedding announcements, new babies, couples moving in together and graduations. Meanwhile, you’re just kind of proud of yourself for making rent and having done laundry this week. Or maybe you just passed a final you cried over as you studied. Maybe you’re single and can’t seem to get it right dating. Whatever the situation may be that’s playing out in your life right now, that’s making you feel a bit inadequate, I want to remind you, no two lives are meant to be lived the same or meant to follow some single standard.

If there’s one thing I can remind you, there’s no competition. And in those moments it feels like you aren’t where you are supposed to be because of your age, your accomplishments or lack there of, screw anyone who makes you feel that way.

Maybe you just are without a clue where your next move will be but I’m here to tell you that it’s okay.

The bits and pieces of people’s lives you see across social media are the filtered glamorized parts they want you to see. No one is going to post a selfie of them in tears after they got fired. No one is going to show you the C they got on an exam when they stayed up until 5 am cramming. No one is going advertise the fact they just got dumped and ate a pint of ice cream dealing with it.

So before you compare yourself to anyone I want you to simply look in the mirror and compare yourself to who you were yesterday. Think about the things you’ve accomplished so far. Think about the things you’ve overcome. Think ‘if anyone knew what it was I’m going through they’d understand a little more why I may not be where society expects me to be right now.’ Whatever it is you went through, first off you got through it or are getting through it, second off, they didn’t have to and if they did they might not have handled it as gracefully as you did.

People will always judge you and compare you to others and there will be moments where you feel like you haven’t measured up to someone else.

There will be questions about your future you don’t quite have the answers to yet. But here’s the thing, you don’t need to know every answer.

That’s why it’s life. We figure it out as we go along and simply try our best.

So let them roll their eyes when you say, ‘I don’t know what I’m doing after graduation.’ Look them in the eyes with pride when you say, ‘No I’m not dating someone right now.’ Be happy when you say, ‘Yeah I’m living with my parents right now and I’m saving a shit ton of money while doing so.’ There is no reason to feel bad about where you are in life. The path someone else choices won’t always suit you, so there’s no reason to compare yourself to them. You gotta figure out what works for you no matter how long it takes.

Filter out other people and you stop comparing yourself to their success, only compare yourself to the person you were yesterday.

Wake up striving to be better because that is success. It may not come with some fancy title. There may be no grand announcement on facebook. But if you keep working on yourself and keep focusing on your own goals without letting outside factors of negativity influence you, what you’ll come to find is success on your own terms. And it will flow over into your career. It will flow over into your relationships and before you know those things you think you lack, will fill your life because you did what was right for you and no one else.

Simply take a step back. You are in no rush to graduate on time. You are in no rush to start a career and have it all figured out. You are in no rush to have kids or a house or get married. Just do things at a pace that feels right for you. Give yourself a pat on the back when no one else does. Give yourself credit for overcoming something and fighting battles people don’t even know of. Go to bed every night and be proud of the person looking back at you in the mirror. And if there is something you want to change wake up the next day and make strides to get there. But do it on your terms. Do it when you are ready. Be the best version of yourself based on your own definition.

Your entire life will figure itself out in time.

Trust me when I say you’ll graduate. You’ll get a job. You’ll meet the love of your life. You’ll one day marry your best friend. You’ll have kids you adore. But don’t rush getting there. If you rush life, you’ll find yourself missing out on the view along the way. And that’s what it’s about. It’s not where you end up but the fun, confusion of trial and errors that get you there. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Kirsten Corley

Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words.

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