I run out of fear of things going wrong but I know I too can miss out on things going right. I run from getting hurt even though I know I can miss out on some joy. I run from rejection and sometimes refuse take chances. I run for my own safety, my own sanity, and my own protection.
But what I’m really looking for isn’t for someone to chase me because even if you do, I’ll probably keep on running. What I’m looking for is someone who makes me want to stop. The type of person I’m so certain of, I’d be crazy to move away for a moment.
I’m looking for the type of love that will make me so certain I can’t take another step forward. I’m looking for the type of love that will stop me in my tracks. The type of love that will freeze me in the moment living in the present tense, not worried about the future or resenting the past. I’m looking for the type of person who gives me a reason to stop.
I know that type of love is out there. That type of love that will fill me and make me whole.
They say you are supposed to be whole, to begin with, but I don’t see how that can ever be true. Because it’s only in taking chances and getting hurt and standing beautiful but broken do we know we are taking the right chances in love.
There is no possible way to be whole if you’re loving the right way.
But with those chances comes pain, comes rejection, comes heartbreak and comes swearing you’ll never do it again but deep down inside you know it was worth it.
But in loving the wrong people it’s taught me the value in something right.
In loving the wrong people and giving the best parts of myself too soon it taught me to be smart. It taught me if I want people to treat me a certain way it first begins with how I treat myself.
So I’ll keep running because that’s what I’m good at. I’ll keep running until I meet my match. I’ll keep running until someone gives me a reason to stop.