The Unedited Truth About Why You’re Single

James Chororos
James Chororos

You think you’re single out of bad luck. You think you just keep encountering these assholes who screw you over. You’re tired of getting hurt but not tired enough to change. You’re not tired enough to admit these common factors of guys are who are similar is a direct reflection of you.

This is why you are single.

You’re single because you go for people who you know will hurt you.

You go for guys you want to change knowing well the outcome. There’s something safe about knowing how things will end. There’s something reassuring to you, that you know you’ll bounce back from it and try again.

They say insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. And that’s what this is.

Love doesn’t fit into this box of predictability. Love doesn’t fit onto your calendar or to do list.

You value love enough to know it shakes up your life in the best way possible and changes the course of it forever. And that scares you. You’re afraid of not controlling something. You’re afraid of the unfamiliar.

You’re afraid to get close enough to anyone so you don’t.

This is why you are single.

You’re single because it’s easier to throw back a shot with a stranger and wake up and leave the next morning than look someone in the eyes and admit you want more. Or look yourself in the eyes admitting you deserve better than some half hearted love story.

You are physically but emotionally disconnected to everyone around you.

I know you know what it feels like to stand in a crowded room and feel alone.

But the thing you have to understand dear is you are making a choice out of fear. You run the first chance you get the moment someone gets too close. You mess things up on purpose out of fear.

But I know under the surface of all of this, it isn’t that you are bad at relationships, it isn’t that you have bad luck. Subconsciously you are making this choice to be single because it’s all you want to know.

You run from the good guys and chase after the bad ones because there’s certainty in that. There’s an ending you know.

But you’re gonna miss out on a lot of good people running from love the way you do. Because I know you want it. I know you value it. I know you know enough about relationships and the human condition to respect love enough to put it on a pedestal. As it should be.

But it isn’t something to fear. It isn’t something to run from. It isn’t something that will hurt you.

Love is the one thing that will heal the self-destruction that you keep causing in your own life.

So when you are ready love will be there. When you decide to stop running love will be there. When you decide to open up and let someone in and let your guard down it will further confirm everything I know you know is true about love.

Be brave my dear because you deserve a love that lasts a lifetime. And you don’t deserve to be alone anymore. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Writer living in Hoboken, NJ with my 2 dogs.

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