It Might Be Complicated But Our Love Was Never Supposed To Be Easy

Giulia Agostini
Giulia Agostini

You could spit a million reasons why this couldn’t work out. You could tell me until you’re blue in the face that we aren’t right for each other.

But can respect me enough to make my own decisions about the life I lead?

I know a lot about risks. I know a lot about losing people’s respect when it comes to the choices I make.

But the thing is it’s always been my choice and it’s always been me myself that takes full responsibility for all of it.

I know there will be risks. I know there will be challenges. But I want to face all of those things with you.

And I know you aren’t any easy person to love. I think part of me likes that about you. You taught me what it takes to earn someone’s love more than just demand it.

You’re a piece of fucking work. It’s not something I don’t know. I know you’re gonna frustrate me at times. I know there will be moments where you test.

But despite that, it’s something I want.

You are someone I want.

But I’m going to tell you a few things I do know despite your flaws and your short comings and everything you hate about yourself I can’t seem to.

I want to teach you to love yourself the same way I do. And in everything you seem to hate I promise I won’t. In a past you can’t seem to accept or understand let me into your world so I can try and understand it.

I can’t take away your pain, but it’s not something you need to endure alone anymore.

I’ll hate all the people who have done you wrong if you can’t seem to.

Because there are a few things I’ve come to learn about you over time. And it’s that you are one of the most beautiful people I have the privilege of associating with. I know you don’t see that yet. You think I’m the beautiful one.

What I do know is I’d rather sit with you drinking wine all night all dressed up even if we didn’t go anywhere as long as you’re next to me.

I’d rather wake up next to you than some stranger I just met. Because when I open my eyes and you’re the first thing I see I’m grateful in that moment to be alive.

It’s in the moments you take me hand and hold it a little tighter.

It’s in the times you push me up against a wall and kiss me. I used to care about people watching me and what they thought. But with you I haven’t a care in the world.

It’s in those intimate moments you run your fingers up and down my body every insecurity vanishes as you whisper the words “you’re perfect.”

While I don’t know if that’s true what I do know is our flaws perfectly compliment one another in a way that just works.

So I’m asking you not to fight this thing because I know you can feel it too.

It’s the conversations at 4 AM where we talk about our dreams and ambitions. And even if no one believes in the things we are capable of I’m you’re number one fan as you are mine.

Let them have doubts. Let them question us. Let them say what they want and judge as harshly as they please. But I never will.

Our souls are complicated. And each of us take off in separate directions before we can get too close to getting something right. And our minds run ramped like wild horses. And our tongues stay tied denying what’s right in front of us at least until alcohol allows us to say everything we fear but I can’t seem to forget. But if I could say only three words that’d be enough and spilling out each words cautious but carelessly I’d say I love you. TC mark

Kirsten Corley

Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words.

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