Because I Can’t Make You Love Me If You Don’t

Natalie Allen
Natalie Allen

It seems so simple and so easy, just love hard and it will all work out. Just give it your best. Just hold nothing back. Be brave. Be vulnerable. And everything will work out for you.

But you know that isn’t always the case sometimes. Because sometimes you can love someone with everything you have, and you can still get it wrong. Sometimes it doesn’t work out.

So why do we take these chances? Why do we risk heartbreak and tears and sleepless nights, if we know we could get it wrong?

Because on the other side of rejection, on the other side of that moment you question if you should say something, there comes bravery from within that allows you to continue with words you might regret. But under the surface is hope. Under the surface you wonder, can they reciprocate these intense feelings you have?

So you take a chance and you go for it. Because the regret we have more in life, isn’t for the words we say but rather the words we repress, always wondering what if.

If you don’t love me or feel the same way, that’s one thing. But there’s something that tells me this could be something. There’s this feeling that I’m blindly trusting and holding onto I can’t just walk away without giving it my best.

I know you felt it too. The intense exchange of looks, where I know your heart was beating as fast as mine. I could feel it as I laid there on you. Cause it wasn’t just a kiss, it was the right kiss. And every moment we were together, I want to know if you felt the time frozen too. Like it was just us.

I’m never one to beg or plead or ask for attention. But this could be something. We could be onto something great here. I know you might be as scared as me. I know a lot of things can go wrong. I know you don’t want to get hurt…again. I don’t either.

But there’s something about you I believe in. There’s this feeling within me that is my only guide.

I cannot make you love me. I cannot make you feel things. I cannot force something if it just isn’t there. But I think you know it too. And I think that’s why this is as scary as it is.

Because the only thing scarier than getting it wrong, is getting it so right you suddenly have something to lose.

You might not be willing to make the first move, or admit what is feels so obvious that we can something. But here I am standing in front of you, asking you to take a chance on loving me.

Because I’ll give you my best. I’ll love you the way others haven’t. I’ll show you what you’ve deserved this whole time. Because you deserve the best. You deserve someone to love you the best they can. You deserve someone who enhances your life and makes it better. I want to be that person.

So I’m asking you as I sit here pouring my heart out. Pick me. Choose me. Love me.

Because here I am picking you. Here I am choosing you among the many people that are around. Because sometimes all you need is one to change your belief. Love me, because I think even if you break my heart, I’ll still love you with every broken piece.

I don’t want to be the only one to want this thing. But if for a moment you question maybe you should turn back around and not walk away, I’ll be here. I’ll be ready to take your hand, and I’ll be ready to fall with you.

I don’t have any intention of hurting you. I don’t have intentions of backing out. I’m all in on this one. But if you’re not, if you keep walking, I’ll start with thank you.

Thank you for teaching me, this heart of mine has the ability to beat again even if it’s a little bit broken. Because while I can’t promise you a whole heart. I can promise to love you with every broken piece. TC mark

“I could make you happy, make your dreams come true. Nothing that I wouldn’t do. Go to the ends of the Earth for you, To make you feel my love.” -Adele

Kirsten Corley

Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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