Getting in cars with strangers
1. George Strait, I Got a Car
2. Luke Bryan, I Don’t Want This Night to End
“Get in a car with a man you don’t know!” said no one ever.
If Luke Bryan’s I Don’t Want This Night to End and George Strait’s I Got a Car tell us anything, it’s that it’s okay for women to meet strange men and hop into whatever motorized vehicle the man has on hand. Real life equivalent? Tinder—so remember to drive yourself to the date.
(Men, if you’re not actually a serial killer, these songs have some good tips for putting your new acquaintance at ease. It helps to verbalize the obvious by saying “hey, I don’t know you,” and to thank the woman for trusting you as you whisk her far away from town and safety. Below are some sweet rides that may impress her.)
Vandalizing property (because of an ex)
3. Carrie Underwood, Before He Cheats
4. The Band Perry, Chainsaw
5. Tyler Farr, Redneck Crazy
Bill O’Reilly was up in arms about Beyoncé’s Drunk in Love song, but where’s the fuss about an angry dude who drives drunk to his ex-girlfriend’s house, shines his headlights in her bedroom window, and then proceeds to throw beer cans at her house, a woman who vandalizes cars, and a chainsaw-wielding chick with a vengeance?
These three clearly haven’t gotten the memo that “releasing anger” isn’t actually a thing, you just get angrier. So if you’re going through a breakup, swallow the crazy and zen yourself out with some meditation.
Booty calling an ex
6. Kenny Chesney, Come Over
Unlike the common “drunk-dial booty call,” which risks a degree of embarrassment, the “ex booty call” traps you in a far worse cycle of self-destruction and distress. Turn your phone off, delete their number, drunk-dial somebody else. Because asking your ex to come over, come over, come cover when your bed feels empty is only counterproductive.