1. Bruno just wants to treat a girl right
Bruno’s all grown up now. He realizes his pride, his ego, his needs, and his selfish ways ruined relationships in the past, but now he’s ready to buy a girl flowers, hold her hand, and give her all his hours. And if she asked him, do I look okay? He’d say: “there’s not a thing that I would change, because you’re amazing, just the way you are.” He’d love her so much! He’d even catch a grenade or take a bullet straight through his brain for her.
2. TSwift desperately needs a guy to treat her right
Bruno’s exactly the kind of guy who would treat Taylor the way she deserves to be treated. Enough with these monsters who are the reason for the teardrops on her guitar, who never loved her, or anyone, or anything. How many times will she have to tell a guy that they are never, ever, ever, getting back together, before someone in Hollywood hurries up and introduces her to Bruno?
3. Taylor could be the big spoon
According to FindTheBest, a research engine that’s collected creepy amounts of celeb information, Taylor’s 5’9 and Bruno’s 5’5—speaking as a 5’10 Amazon, it gives me the warm fuzzies when a woman is taller than her boyfriend. It’s just so fantastically norm-defying and something thousands of short men and tall women probably wish they had the cojones to do.
Besides, every guy wants a chance to be the little spoon, right?
4. They’d be a singer songwriter powerhouse
Taylor and Bruno could be the next Sonny and Cher.
Their hit song probably wouldn’t involve a forbidden rendezvous of tapping on windows and sneaking out so Bruno’s mama didn’t know, but we could all look forward to a single released by the two of them regardless.
5. Bruno is not in a boy band and doesn’t play a werewolf on the big screen
Taylor’s dated her fair share of clueless college-aged babies. Harry Styles and Taylor Lautner were clearly too busy kissing Australian models or getting ripped for the next Twilight movie to learn how to treat a lady right.
But Bruno? He’s a man who’s done lots of man stuff, like performing at the Super Bowl and making the phrase “bang bang gorillas,” sound sexy.
6. Taylor would be a good influence
But sometimes men do ill-advised things. Like cocaine (He was arrested for possession in 2010). Hopefully Bruno would clean up his act if he snagged a good girl like Taylor.