Thought Catalog

Why Girls Need To Start Making The First Move, Too

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What the hell are you waiting for? The reality is, being shy and quiet will not automatically give your crush the green light to approach you. You have to do something about it. Seriously, if you really like this dude, go up to him! In fact, if you don’t approach that cutie now, someone else will. And don’t go complaining to your BFFs when you’ve finished second in the race. It’s part of girl code that if you don’t call dibs, you just have to deal with the aftermath, which unsurprisingly results in jealousy and disappointments.

So take one good look in the mirror and think about how awesome you are and bravely walk up to him. An awkward “hi” is ten times better than nothing. 

Which brings me to my next point: You.

I’m sure at some point we’ve had a crush on someone and immediately thought to ourselves “Oh he’s out of my league” I’m sorry, excuse me? What league? You are you. You are an amazing individual and you should be allowed to have a crush on anyone.

Now, I’m not just talking about physical looks, I’m saying it includes everything else. If you see someone remotely attractive in every aspect and you’re starting to develop affection for the other party, then go for it. Don’t ever think you’re not pretty or smart enough for this guy because the last time I checked, there’s only one of you in this universe. And your crush should feel hella lucky to have you as an admirer. However, if he doesn’t, there’s always someone else who will. Hang in there, buddy. A failed crush isn’t the end of the world.

Thirdly, I presume, is the main reason why girls refuse to admit to their feelings first. And yes, it’s because of the R word. Rejection.

You know sometimes I think, even within ourselves, we picture rejection to be the greatest enemy of life when there’s nothing to be afraid of. As we grow up, we will face rejection in every aspect. One day, we will walk in to a job interview and be rejected. Does that mean we cry in front of our employer begging for a place, or do we walk off confidently to our next interview? Rejection is inevitable and if you think about it, how bad can you be rejected? 

The guy you like, I’m sure is not cruel or a sick son of a bitch. He won’t hear your confession, laugh in your face and say “HAHAHA you shit face, piss off” or write on your forehead in bold “REJECTED.” No, okay? That is not going to happen. However, if perchance that might occur, I suggest you crush on someone more ethical. 

Also, rejection doesn’t signify the end of a friendship. Just because you have a crush on him does not mean you still can’t enjoy each others’ company as friends. Sure, it might be awkward for a couple of days but as long as YOU don’t make it uncomfortable, you two will be back to being friends in no time.

Lastly, here’s a pretty damn good reason why it should be you who does the confessing.

Have you ever been caught in a situation where your crush somehow finds out from your best friend’s aunt’s niece’s boyfriend’s sister that you like them? And how it simply complicates everything because he didn’t hear it from you. Now, you’re probably at that stage where you over-analyze his every move and your every conversation because you’re looking for signs to know whether he likes you back.

First of all, why go through all that trouble when you can just tell him yourself? I know it can be tough to pluck up the courage to openly confess. I know because I’ve been there. It’s not easy but it’s for everyone’s convenience. And secondly, it makes things easier for your crush too. Instead of hearing it through multiple sources, which I’d like to add, quite possibly would have exaggerated the situation, can be confusing for him as well. Think about it, he doesn’t know what to believe and is bloody clueless on how to act on it. Is he going to pretend nothing happened? Unlikely, but he is going to ignore you for as long as you can imagine because he is just as embarrassed as you are.

Guys are not mind readers; so cut them some slack before you throw a tantrum at the friend who revealed your secret for you. 

It is 2014 and as advanced as we like to think we are, girls still prefer to play it old school and cliché, which is to wait and wait…. and wait.

How long do you plan to wait before you decide to tell him how you feel? When telepathy becomes a thing, so you won’t have to do the talking?

No. Because unlike what Nicholas Sparks novels teach us, a boy and a girl rarely fall in love at first sight. Couples almost never fall for each other at the same time, in the same instant. There has to be someone brave enough to make the first move, to do the chase.

If you confess today, you are giving him time to notice or even develop feelings for you, which works completely in your favor.  

If you don’t, he will never know. And by the time you’ve waited long enough to finally say something, he could have been secretly crushing on you this whole time, or even worse, moved on to someone else. As much as we fear rejection, guys probably do too. 

It’s time to do things a little differently. Be the first one to confess. If he doesn’t feel the same way about you, it’s alright. Remember, it’s just a crush, not a failed marriage proposal. Pick yourself up and move on with sass and confidence. TC mark

featured image – Ella Ceron
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