1. Cover letters and resumes really aren’t that hard to write:
If you have been productive during your high school and post high school years, a cover letter detailing why you are a good fit for the company isn’t really that hard to write. Neither is a resume. It’s just two pieces of paper filled with bullshit formalities, and I KNOW you have bullshitted essays in high school (psttt doing them three hours before it is due or pulling an all nighter).
The hard part is getting someone to read your cover letter and resume after it has been sent to the employer. The most depressing aspect about the job search, quite possibly, is spending hours perfecting your resume and cover letter only to have it never make it to the HR’s office (because the robot filter on the computer ruled your application out due to the lack of keywords matches).
*How to fix this? Aha, I’m still trying to figure this out, but not lying is important and the shorter the better seems to work these days:
2. Do not apply to everything just because you “need a job”:
This is like spreading your seeds like a dandelion. Really, you want to think quality over quantity. No employer or anyone for the matter of fact wants to actually read a cookie cutter resume and cover letter. If the employer won’t feel special after reading your cover letter, what makes you think that you “stood out” to them?
Be careful what you apply to. Don’t bullshit your resume and say you know how to program when you really only just learned the basics a couple weeks ago.
*How to fix this? Apply to jobs you are qualified for. If you just graduated college and looking for an entry level job, don’t apply to a job requiring professional experience. Apply to jobs you are trained to do from you previous jobs or internships!
3. Don’t expect six figure salaries:
There is no way in hell your Bachelor of Arts degree in Communication (Holla at anyone who is this major! Best major because it’s my major!) will make you six figures at your very first professional full time job. No way. Nope. Not even in two years.
*How to fix this? Start small! Start at entry level or if you’re possibly like me, start as an intern. You gotta start somewhere. I know some interns are unpaid, but you can start as an unpaid intern for six months, within a year become a paid intern, and then entry level. It works! It works!! You will meet many wonderful and professional people along the way who are willing to help you reach your goals!
4. If you want to change your field, do it now:
Yes, now is the time to change. I started out as a Communication major hoping to become an elementary school teacher. After interning in several elementary schools, I realized I don’t want to be an elementary school teacher. I love public speaking and writing and talking with people my own age, not with parents and small children and changing diapers.
*How to fix this? Find post college graduate internships in the field you want. I want to go into the entertainment field. I know, I have big dreams. I want to speak to people, so I am going to look for jobs in Public Relations! Hehe. I have huge dreams and I’m not giving up. My parents didn’t give up on me, neither did my friends, or the schools I have attended, and I am not going to give up on my dreams because I have come too far!
5. Have a very open and liberal mindset:
What I mean by this is, take for example, myself. I want to change career fields and somehow weasel my way into entertainment. But how do I do this with limited networking connections and experience? I start small. Maybe I could get a job at the lowest rung possible in the entertainment industry. Being an intern and running errands, data entry, and coffee runs. Hey, this might lead me to getting to know more people in the industry, and who knows? Ten years down the road, look out world, I’m going to have my own reality TV Show like the Kardashians, and I am just kidding my dreams are huge.
*How to fix this? I know it is scary to start out as an unpaid intern. Everyone needs money to pay rent and food and internet bills and such, but if your dreams are there, if you are serious about becoming a famous television personality or whatever your heart desires, you need to take the steps and be open.
6. The world is not on your side:
It’s you against the world. There is lots of competition. Everyone wants the exact same thing you want. And through the midst of it all, you have to prove that you are the one and you are the best one. You can have all the connections in the world or none at all, there’s no right way to making your dreams come true.
*How to fix this? You just keep doing you. Don’t brag about your experiences, show them! Just always remember, “There is no one in the world quite like you!” You are irreplaceable, you are beautiful, and your personality is like sparkling bubbling champagne on New Year’s Eve.
7. Don’t get hung up on a job:
There are companies out there that so many of us dying to work for. Example: Google. But no matter how many applications I send to Google, I am never going to get an interview, let alone a job there. I have not given up, I’m just stating the facts. If I wallow in my sorrows of spending hours on an application to send to Google and never hearing back, I’m just going to be a sad pear for the rest of my life.
*How to fix this? Move the f*** on. Just move on! Hello, if they don’t care much about your awesome resume and cover letter now, why do you think they will care later? There are so many wonderful companies out there that love you and want you to work for them, and you are just going to be sad and cry about your application that never got to HR because, again, it got filtered out by the robot computer filter due to the lack of keyword compatibility? Please. Ain’t nobody got time.
8. There are some people that just have it goin’ on for them:
Come on, we all know that one friend who applies to 10 jobs, gets offers from 9 of them and the one he/she didn’t get an offer from was because his/her dad wasn’t the CEO of the company (plus he/she didn’t want it anyways so he/she half assed the application). El oh el. Look at me here applying to 20 jobs, gets 1 interview, bombs said interview, and now is unemployed and writing about my unfruitful job search.
*How to fix this? First you say, “F*** you! So unfair!” Then you stop comparing yourself to whoever has it going on for them, eat some ice cream, and NOT GIVE UP. The moment you give up is the moment you have failed your dreams. I don’t care how old you are, everyone has dreams. Everyone needs money to live, and we all know in this age and time, no one is going to live off the land, so don’t even try and weasel that idea into my mind, friend-that-is-trying-to-make-me-feel-better!
9. Appearance matters, but so do brains:
Hey, have you ever wondered why the pretty people get the jobs? Or why the news anchor is always an attractive man or women who you wouldn’t mind taking home with you? It’s because in the real world, appearance matters. It’s pretty sad to admit to, but that’s how the world works. But the catch here is, you NEED to have brains and knowledge and speak like a smart ass. I’m not telling anyone to go out and get plastic surgery to cover your flaws, hell, I have so many flaws, 10 finger ain’t enough to count them! But you do need to take care of your appearance. You also need to not talk like an airhead. Know what you are talking about, have evidence, be serious, and don’t exaggerate.
*How to fix this? Get plastic surgery. Naw, I am totally kidding. But, do put on makeup if you need it or want it. Do try and wear clothes that fit you. Do speak intelligently. But, be true to yourself and don’t change yourself for a career or others.
10. Your undergraduate major doesn’t really matter:
To be 10000000% honest, unless you are going into an engineering field or some very ridiculously specific and analytical field, your undergraduate major doesn’t matter. If you put in the effort and know what you are talking about, you’re fine. I learned this the hard way. During my first three years of college, I over analyzed what I should major in, how high I could get my GPA to be, what careers I could get with my major…etc
But all in all, it’s the experiences that matter most.
*How to fix this? Get the experience! Internships, jobs, volunteering…etc whatever. It’s the skills you take away with you. It’s the skills you learn. It’s your flexibility and organization skills that matter. It’s the fact that you can communication with your co workers and supervisors efficiently that matter.
So go out in the world,
I believe in you. I believe in your dreams (and my own dreams that seem so far away and unattainable at the moment). I will always be here when you need me. I support you. You can do it! Listen to yourself, listen to Katy Perry and hear me ROARRRRRRR!