6 Signs That You Are In A Toxic Relationship With A Total Player

Chiara Cremaschi
Chiara Cremaschi

Remember that famous line “Love makes you dumb”?

Yeah? Well, I think that line is actually true, I guess for me that is. I am the type of person that people would describe as smart, achiever, ambitious, confident, and all the other positive adjectives you can think of. And all that changed when I met this one guy whom everyone labeled as a “fuckboy” and “player”.

I guess love really makes you dumb and do stupid things. Even with the constant reminder of my friends and the people who knew him who would tell me to not be with him, I still did. And look what it got me, it made me feel things that I shouldn’t have. Even the smartest of person can do crazy things just so the love of his/her life will be happy and will stay with them. Well, good thing I am way over that because I felt awful when I was with someone who is a “player”.


1. They only text you when they need something from you or they are bored.

And it feels awful.

Given that they are “players”, they’re all busy doing the things that players do (I.e, hitting on other girls and try to hook up with them, busy hanging out with their cool friends). And you’re just there sitting around waiting for them to text you and asking for their precious time to bond with you because *duh* you are his girlfriend. But no, he will only text you when he’s bored and when he needs something from you.

2. He/she will make you wait. A lot.

Waiting is awful. Asking for their attention is terrible. If you are in a relationship with someone, it is a must that you spend time with them and make them feel that they are wanted. I am not saying that you have to be with them 24/7, what I’m saying is that no matter how busy you are with work or school, take a moment of your time and text them. But with players, no. They don’t have time for that and you will most definitely feel terrible about yourself.

3. He treats you differently when you are around his friends.

I get it, PDA can be annoying as hell. But surely, treating you like you are nothing in front of his friends is way different than treating you like you are his but sans the holding hands thing and sh*t. You feel rejected and unwanted that there will come a time you question yourself and the kind of relationship you are getting yourself into.

4. You are constantly being compared to his/her exes.

I get it, you have a wide array of exes and I have accepted you for that that’s why I said yes to a relationship with you. But please, stop with the comparisons. You are only making me feel worse about myself and add up to my already high mountain of insecurities. *Really, what is wrong with me that I am putting up to this?* stupid *scoff*stupid.

5. He is cheap. And stingy. And cheap.

It will be hard to have a date with them because they are cheap. They will never spend money on you because of course they are players, the world has so much to offer and there are girls all around the corner they can hit on so they need all the resources they can get to do just that and not spend money on you. And worse, if they are so thick faced (which most of them are), they would even ask you to pay for their meals.

6. He is soooo good at lying. Maybe he majors on that in college.

I’ve been with this person who is really good at lying and I have seen him firsthand lie to his mother without batting an eye. Lying is just so natural to them that when faced with a certain situation, they already know what to say. Well, I guess they get pretty good at it since all they do is lie to all the girls that they meet just so they can get into their pants.


Falling in love should feel good, it shouldn’t make you feel bad about yourself and question your choices. It should make you feel appreciated and wanted and not the other way around. You deserve the best and being with someone who does not see that does not deserve you at all. Leave all those negative people and things behind and start seeing the good in life. Love yourself first. Stop waiting around for others to appreciate and love you. There is so much to life than boys who will only play with your feelings. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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