He grabs you by the back of the neck, tugs on your flowing curls, as he pulls you closer and closer to him. You can feel his breath on your face, his scent envelopes your nose until your lungs are filled with his intoxicating essence. Your vulva starts to tingle with excitement; your heart begins to beat faster as his lips firmly touch yours. Oh, the sweet taste of his luscious lips, the softness of his tongue. You look into his deep soulful eyes to let him know you want more without saying a word.
He grabs you by the hand, starts to walk toward the stairs. He wants to ravish you and you him. He stops, slowly turning, kisses your neck, glides his lips over yours as he pulls your sweater up and over your head. He tugs at your jeans, releasing the button, caressing them down to the floor ever so slowly…
“OMG. OMG. Please don’t let him see my kangaroo pouch. The lights. The lights. We need to dim the lights. He can’t see my flabby thighs or the cellulite on the back of my ass.”
You retreat. The fire inside you dims. The pleasurable sensations dull all because you can’t let go of those damn body hang-ups. Can you relate? Have you been in this situation? Do you let your body hang-ups affect your intimate moments? Are you one of those women who look into the mirror and hate what she sees? Are you constantly criticizing your appearance, your shape or size?
I want you to know that you are not alone. There is no shame in admitting that you can relate. Many women suffer from a negative body image. And unfortunately that negative image can directly impact your sex life. The problem is, if you don’t let go of those body hang-ups, it can slowly derail your relationship. Or if you are newly involved, it can stop that relationship dead in its tracks.
Most men want to date or be in a relationship with a confident woman; a woman who can enjoy herself, who is content with her own presence and who is not afraid to be vulnerable and let it all hang out. The truth is, if he senses your uncertainty or your lack of confidence and you are newly in the relationship, don’t be surprised if he bolts. Men don’t want that kind of headache. He wants to have fun getting to know you….not sift through to find out who you really are.
So, if you find yourself getting in your own way to a sensational, sizzling relationship, try these 4 self love tips on for size:
1. Learn to adore your body.
Yes, I want to you to love every inch of your body. Look beyond the flaws and adore every luscious part. How do you do this? It’s simple. Get naked! Stand in front of that mirror and find things you love about your naked ass. Drink in every inch until you can appreciate not only what your body can do for you, but each fold, wrinkle, scar, mark or imperfection because that is what makes you magnificently unique and amazingly beautiful.
2. Shake it, baby.
There is nothing more liberating that moving your body to some killer music. To connect your mind and body in such a way can help you release any adverse feelings you have in your own skin. And it oozes sex appeal! Men love women who are not afraid to move…and don’t worry if you are not a good dancer…they don’t care.
3. Find your sexy inner vixen.
Ladies, you all have one. If your inner vixen has been hiding, it is time to let her out to play. Entice her. Care for her. Give her a luxurious bath, followed by sweet smelling lotion. Drape her with silk lingerie. Feed her decadent food. Teach her a sensual dance. The key here is to shower her with so much love that she can’t wait to come out to play.
4. Think like a man.
Okay, this one may need some explaining. Here’s the deal: When you are having an insecure moment about your body, before you let it affect your night out with your man, think about how “he” would look at your body or the part you seem to be negatively consumed with. I guarantee he is not seeing, nor is he repulsed by, the cellulite on the back of your thighs or worrying about your less than toned abs. He’s been looking at you with x-ray glasses, envisioning what you would look like without anything on since he met you.
Men do not sweat the small stuff. They do not dwell on those small imperfections that you can’t stop staring at. They see beauty in all flesh and find any woman who has confidence sexy as hell. I promise you this: if you stand naked in front of any man, he won’t be noticing your imperfections. He is going to so damn happy you are standing there naked at all.
If you want a hot, lasting beautiful relationship with a man, let go of those pesky insecurities. Drop those body hang-ups. Show up as the confident, sexy woman you already are.