I would have been the girl of your dreams. Kiss you in public just to show you off. Give you mind-blowing kisses when you drop me off after a day out. Call you up in the middle of the day to tell you I love you because I know how stressed you are at work. Be the girl your friends crave for and I will still only have eyes for you.
I would have given you all my heart. I would have loved you with everything that I have. Made you forget you were ever hurt. Made you question why you had been having those nasty, nasty thoughts of leaving the world. I would have made you believe that the world is colorful again.
I would have made you the happiest you have ever been in your life for as long as I live. I would never make you cry or hurt you in any way. I would always tell you I love you even at the worst of times because nothing we do, not even our stupid fights, would make me love you less. I would have been there for you when you feel like the whole world is on your shoulders, I would bear the weight with you and share your burden. Never in my wildest dreams would you feel alone when you are with me.
I would have been the mother our children adored. I would have loved them unconditionally, with all my being. They could have talked to me about anything and everything and I would gladly listen with an open heart. I would have been the parent you always wanted because you never wanted your children to grow up like you did. I would have made you the proudest father to have children as great as ours.
I would have been the girl your mother wanted as a daughter-in-law and the sister your little sister never had. I would have loved to gossip and laugh and cook with your mother on a Sunday afternoon. I would have loved to talk to your little sister about her ambitions and be the person she would go to should she have anything on her mind. I would have loved to listen to stories from your mother about how you behaved like a child from hell when you were younger. I would have gladly been there for your little sister when she needed a shoulder to cry on when she had her first heartbreak. Hell, I would have done it all.
I would have been your biggest cheerleader. All the dreams that you thought are unattainable, well I would have been the one to say that you’re an idiot for thinking that and you are perfectly capable of achieving whatever you set you mind to. I would have been the one to always push you and pick you up when you feel like all you have done would never be enough to get what you want. You could have had me as your biggest supporter, always ready to cheer you on.
The thing is, I would have been the girl beyond your greatest imagination. You would not have believed a girl like me could have ever existed. I could have been your whole world. I would have stayed just like I promised. I would have been the missing piece you needed to make your life just a bit more bearable. I would have been the hand you wanted to hold on to when you thought you could not take the pain any longer. I would have made you feel whole again. I would have been the girl to make you believe that love is real and that I will stay for as long as you needed me to.
But, you would not give me the chance to be that girl.
You just could not see that I am the one to stay. You could not see that I could have given you the love you ever wanted and never received. You are blinded by the hate and resentment that you keep in that fragile heart of yours.
So now I will walk away. Not because I despise you for not wanting my heart, but because I know that in time, you will see that all I ever wanted was to shower you with the love you deserved. I believe that in time, you will know that love still exists and when that day comes, I will be here waiting to hug you in my arms saying, “I’m really glad you’re here and don’t worry, I will stay and love you.”