A Story About Being Unfillable

A Story About Being Unfillable

Some things never really change.

We may have surpassed evolution quite some time ago, but some traits never really go away. Back in time, humans hunt and collect food to survive. Sure, we don’t hunt for our food anymore, but we hunt in other ways. The bottom line is we hunt for jobs to earn money to collect food. Way back, all time was probably been used up to hunt and collect in order to survive and get through the day. Now is a whole different story. We live in a period where we don’t need the whole day to finish mundane tasks anymore. Food isn’t our only worry any more. Surviving has changed into a concept which has different layers now. We got more time left to reflect and think. Which also means more time to overthink, overanalyze and worry. We may have evolved over thousands of decades, but we are still trying to survive. We might be able to fill our body with food but it seems we want to do the same to our mind to feel satisfied.

We are trying to survive spiritually.

We are hungry for something else and we don’t know how to still that hunger.

Once we grow older, we start to get busy to fill in our life.

We fill it with noises, so we don’t need to get confronted by the silences that are trying to tell us something.

We fill it in with voices, so we don’t bother to create our own voice and use it.

We fill it with faces around us so we don’t bother to face ourselves and look at ourselves in the mirror.

We fill it in with superficial achievements so we would feel like a winner one day.

We fill it with materialistic goods to make ourselves feel less empty.

We try to fill it in as much and as quick as possible for immediate satisfaction. But our mind is unfillable. It doesn’t work as a storage room or a library. It’s not about collecting and preserving anything that comes across us to make us feel something. It’s about re-evaluating time after time to question ourselves if we are still on a path that we are proud of.

Our mind is not static, it is ever-flowing and moving.

We should not try to fill it but rather planting seeds on places that have been neglected, ignored and resented. It’s about watering those same seeds to nurture it. It’s about re-organizing our thoughts and throw out the fruitless ones. It’s about transcending into consciously acting instead of mindlessly consuming to try to fill something that should not ever be filled in the first place.

We are no longer humans from the past, but we are still hunting every day to collect and preserve, in order to feel whole.

But that’s the thing, it is not something we can just find and make it our own.

We are here to make memories to transform, rebuild and grow ourselves. We are not here to stuff our lives with things that are not needed, with unfitted people for the sake of having company and with truths that are not our own truths.

The girl who rambles through life

Keep up with Kimberley on Instagram and ramblesbykim.wordpress.com