You know those habits that you have always tried to improve yet never fully able to because of the fact that it has become a part of you?
Well, for me, it’s the habit of misplacing things. I have learned to live with this by trying to not stressing out every time when I cannot find my glasses or keys. With the wrong precautions on how to deal with my own annoying habit, it can seriously lead to stressful breakdowns. Sometimes, I even doubt if the size of my memory capacity has even fully developed compared to my peers.
I have always been aware that this trait of mine could be off-putting and annoying for those who started to get to know me better, but like everyone else – I’m not perfect and that’s okay. It might be a lesser side of me but I never thought it would come with harmful consequences to my friendship. Don’t worry FAM, it has become something in which I can laugh about it now, but for a couple of months, I was seriously heartbroken over this incident.
I couldn’t fathom how happy I was when I had the chance to live abroad with my friend. Just a few months settled into by far the fanciest place that I have lived into my standard – the first cracks started to show itself. The fresh air from the apartment right before my arrival turned into a thick layer of dust. Our conversations turned into single sentences. The piles of dirty plates getting bigger when she decided that I didn’t need to wash her dishes, but only my own. The portions that I cooked for dinner turned smaller as we ate more often separately than together. I no longer made a pot of tea, but a tea-for-one for myself to relax at the end of the day. I couldn’t wrap my head around what had happened that has turned us into mere roommates to each other.
Luckily, I got an answer not long after. It became clear during our “we need to talk” conversation what exactly went wrong.
“I think you are taking advantage of me.”
That was the only thing that kept repeating in my mind when she said those words out loud. It turned out that my annoying trait of misplacing stuff is basically the culprit of everything. She misinterpreted my forgetful behavior for deliberately using her stuff without asking her first. She misinterpreted my misplaced silverware for interfering with her personal space of her own silverware. I told her that she was making an elephant out of a fly and she countered with that I can never take on criticism without feeling personally attacked by it. Which is true. I told her that a fault is never coming from one person, but from both sides and she countered with that I was the only one at fault.
“Everything is your fault because of how you are,” was the last thing I heard before our friendship turned into shambles.
That’s when I knew that I just lost a friend by my habit of misplacing stuff. That part has destroyed our friendship. But the most important question for now is:
“Where the hell did I leave my glasses?”