Sorry But You Are Screwed If You Let Life Happen To You

woman sitting on gray concrete pavement near white metal railing at daytime
Cortney White / Unsplash

Busy, busy, busy. That’s mostly the answer you get when you ask how someone is doing.

”How are you?”

”I’m busy.”

It’s true, to some extent. We are indeed busy but are we being efficiently busy or just being distracted busy, not exactly knowing why we are doing the things we are doing. Can we say with 100% certainty that we know why we do certain things or do we just let it happen to us because we never really have given some thought about it?

Think about it. Do you get through the day with the same motions as most of the days? Do you recall your days as a giant blur of some kind? It isn’t surprising when you were mouthing yes in your mind. We all have routines that we follow through the day. Some necessary to survive, but most of it is deeply embedded in our system, like washing our face in the morning or dressing up to go out. We do these acts without thinking about it. Which is fine. We don’t have to think about every little thing that requires common sense.

We tend to be more alert when we are exposed to novelty and unfamiliarity because it deviates from our daily routine. During such moments, our mind tends to be more focused and active – we do some inner questioning and stay aware because subconsciously we don’t want it to threaten our safe haven – our routine.

Everyone has a routine but only the distracted ones let it consume themselves.

It’s the ones who do not know themselves (enough) that have developed a routine that’s solely created by external circumstances and people. You would see a pattern in their behavioral characteristics that doesn’t even make any sense to themselves.

Generally, we sail through the stream of life, not really thinking of standing still to question why we always make a left turn instead of a right one. Never ever question the value of our comrades whom we forgot how long they already are in our space. Never questioning why we are sailing through waves, if what we really desire is actually to lie down on the grass.

If we never take the time to get to know ourselves and ask ourselves what we find important, our approach stays passive and our intentions unclear. We would let our routine speaks for itself for what we stand for instead of taking the torch and shed lights on things and the persons that matters to us.

Our body is ours. Our mind too. We should take ownership of it and not let it waste its potential only for the mere fact that we got distracted for a little while.

A distracted mind, a distracted soul.

Fortunately, we can shift energy wherever we want – on whoever we want. It might feel strange to do so at first for we usually program ourselves to do the familiar and most comfortable choice. Once you peel off that layer of social awareness and be deadly honest with yourself, you will come to find out that you have revolved your behavior around people, in the worst case, around those that really do not matter one bit. You will found out that certain people are only in your life just out of habit.

Altogether, you will find out that you have voluntarily sat back on your lazy ass and let life happen to you that has spread out in all areas of your life.

It will continually poison your own authentic self and make you further away from getting to know yourself better. Not only from the surface but deep down that you will get scared of your own deeply buried fears and broken dreams.

If you let relationships just happen to you, you don’t know what you find important in a partner, let alone in yourself. How do you suppose to build a solid bond together when you have no idea what the foundation is of the relationship?

That’s why lots of relationships tend to fail because people claim to want something real when they don’t even make sure or have the guts to find out what’s real about themselves.

Same goes for friends. If you let random people walk into your life, you don’t learn to set values for a meaningful friendship, let alone when you are with yourself. How do you suppose to grow into your potential when you are that easy giving away your time and energy?

That’s why lots of friendship are just a bunch of people meeting each other on a regular basis because people claim to like the company of that particular person, but really, what they are doing is projecting their own insecurities on the other by spending time with them, to avoid having any time or energy left for themselves. If that happens, they won’t have any idea what to do with their own solitude.

They won’t have any idea what they stand for by themselves and don’t dare to look in the mirror to witness that they have neglected themselves – mentally & physically.

All in all, you are screwed when you let life happen to you.

I know we are all so busy, but why don’t you take a second and wonder if you really, really know yourself. And if you know it and take ownership of it, it will automatically show itself in all areas of your life and the soothing aura that radiates throughout your whole body and mind. TC mark

The girl who rambles through life

Keep up with Kimberley on Instagram and

More From Thought Catalog