Our Unresolved Emotions Can Say A Lot About Our Behavior

woman leaning on her knees
Zohre Nemati / Unsplash

The other day I caught myself being unapologetic myself without a filter. There wasn’t a single moment that I was concerned about how others would view me and it felt like a breath of fresh air. But it wasn’t always the case that I dared to speak out my unpopular opinion and say anything that’s on my mind. No, it wasn’t like this at all, more like the opposite of how I am now which is someone who shies away from even speaking and agreeing to everything anyone says, just to make everything would like me and think I’m such a nice person (ew, cringe to myself). That pretty much worked against me, I got bullied and ignored for a huge part during high school. But I got stronger and time has soothed most of my pain and frustration. Still, I can say with certainty that there are still unresolved negative feelings floating inside of me.

Those feelings have melted into my identity and have turned into a permanent part of how I am now.

Thus, I have grown to build a mechanism to protect myself from there on. This mechanism shows itself when I am surrounded by unfamiliar faces or when I walk past a group of people that gives out the same vibe as the people who have bullied me. My mind then becomes guarded and my senses hyper-aware of my environment, expecting a negative encounter any moment and ready to come up for myself – always preparing myself for the worst case scenario, always ready to fight to never let my guard down and to prevent anyone walking all over me again. I don’t want history to repeat itself ever again.

There is always a reason why we act the way we act.

It comes from a place deep inside of us. We can always trace back and find out why we react in a certain way when placed in a certain pattern. Those negative feelings won’t just disappear in the light. It always expressed itself, each time in a slightly different form, based on the situation and people. Nevertheless, it always finds its way to reveal to the surface, showing it on our faces and the words we choose to speak out to protect our already damaged soul.

All we experience – the good and bad – but especially the bad shapes our shield of protection. It becomes a challenge when we let that shield determines us in how to react in any given situation. It’s almost impossible to not have a mechanism to project our unresolved emotions on. Somehow, we need to let it out in order to let go and move on.

Nothing stems deeper than our unresolved emotions.

It’s an ever moving process of gaining experiences and the emotions that we will establish along the way. When we experience something that establishes anger but never has had the chance to have closure, it will only bottle up over time and transform into something much more heavy and difficult to move on from. When we are not aware of this, it will radiate throughout our whole body and even damage our physical and mental health.

The way to express unresolved emotions to be at ease with ourselves is a temporary destination.

You can’t make a permanent stop and stay in the same place for the rest of your life. Because life gives us experiences every single day – good and bad – it is inevitable to avoid any shit storm that will bound to rush through your door any possible moment. And with every negative experience comes with heavy emotions, some clearing up as soon the sun rises the very next morning but in most cases, indeed unresolved and left in the dark corner. That’s why it is a temporary destination so we know we need to prepare ourselves soon to hit the road again and find the next place to be at peace with our emotions. It’s like a constant adjustment of a scale. Before we put our feet on it, we make sure that the arrow points to zero, so it would reveal the truth and not deceive our vision towards ourselves.

If we never wonder why we act a certain way, we would never take the next step to dig into our past; generating a lack of self-knowledge which results in an alienation towards ourselves.

Nothing stems deeper than our unresolved emotions.

Keep wondering about your own behavior towards yourself and others. Keep adjusting to feeling at peace.

Rediscover yourself, time after time, and learn to get to know yourself better in order to thrive above your pain and to get to the next destination of improvement.

Stay in motion: move, dig, run.

Anything is better than to stand still and drown into the hidden emotions.

Nothing stems deeper than our unresolved emotions.

And nothing ever keeps you from growing into a better person, than the toxicity of deep buried pain and frustration. TC mark

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