A dog, if lucky, can live up to around 10 years. Cats, in general, has more time to seize the days. Still, compared to us, we have lots of time contemplating what to do with our time. One thing is certain for all of us, and that is that one day we will all be gone, vanished into dust or buried deep underneath the soil where the living wanders around, each one of them dying a little bit every day.
We grow older every single day but not particular wiser about how to spend our time while we still breathe and our heart still beating. Our ability to be conscious of our own thoughts is both a blessing and curse. A blessing because it helps us to relative and therefore aid in avoiding near death experiences. A curse because of the fact that we become too cautious about absolutely everything which leads to inaction and a passive approach to making decisions for our own life.
When we allow fear to make decisions for us, we become cowards of our own story; observers gazing from the sidelines – only able to take a glimpse of the show. When that happens, we no longer are writing our own story, but let it write itself by other bypassers and external circumstances.
We make excuses like “Not now, someday” and then someday becomes another passing day.
We tell ourselves ”I don’t have time” when time is all we got and is slipping away the longer we wait to spend it for the things we truly want to do.
Feeling death inside while still being alive is the worse kind of state. It’s like trapped inside a limbo and not able to escape from it. But, it’s possible and we must escape from it in order to be our own storyteller, including telling all that is considered to be ”failures” like grammar errors, weirdly constructed sentences and out of character plots. In other words, mistakes, living life in no particular order and things we do with disapproval from others.
Pleasing others is a familiar territory for me. A drug that gives you an instant kick, knowing that you have kept everyone satisfied around you, so they would like you or even adore you. But then reality kicks in and leaves you empty inside. It makes you think that it’s a never-ending process to keep everyone constantly satisfied so it would burn you out and eat you alive. This all made me realize that not everyone has to like me. And that by focusing on others that much that I didn’t realize that I probably have missed out on some amazing souls if I have just have focused on myself first.
We ponder about our decisions to the point that nothing actually happens in the end. If you are waiting for a sign of the Universe, you can wait forever. If you are reluctant to try something ”out of character”, then you are willingly putting a limit on yourself of seeking new sides of yourself.
If you want to make the right decision in order to please everyone, you will become fully dependent on others.
You will lack authenticity because you can’t seem to stand bravely behind your own beliefs and goals. You will just get pushed around, forever adjusting your opinions to fit in.
Whatever you want to do, just do it.
Your answer probably? Yeah, but it’s not that easy
Because in the end, we all die anyway.
Use the fact that we are mortals to pursue the things you want to do. It can be anything, really. Just do whatever makes you alive, while knowing that this life will be over in an eyeblink, but it will be magnificent, including all the fucked up things we will for sure come across with.
Don’t let that thought scares you and makes you passive. The word living says it already, it is a verb, it needs action to make it work and bring the best out of its potential.
Whatever it is what you want to do. Just do it – try it. We all die anyway.
But at least – with no regrets!