Who doesn’t want to be confident? Who doesn’t want to feel comfortable in their own skin? For most of us, it’s a lifelong process to keep working on our self-confidence. It’s a hard, individual process that requires quite an amount of trial and errors. The thing with confidence is that we confuse ourselves with how it appears in the public eye. We think that a confident person must have a powerful aura which will shine through the whole room. We think it’s the person knowing what to say or how to act all the time. It might be the person who always has a strong opinion and is not afraid to tell it. It’s probably the person who has the final word or knows how to mingle with strangers.
True, some of these examples indeed requires some confidence to begin with, but there is much more what meets the eye. Society has inflicted in our mind that most extrovert characteristics equal confidence whilst introverted characteristics are the opposite. But that’s the thing. True confidence comes within, and it starts with self-acceptance. It’s looking inside yourself, stripping away all the layers you have built over the years to protect yourself from any danger. And while you stripped away that last layer, you feel a sense of approval towards yourself because of the fact that you have accepted everything that has come across your path, including all your old mistakes. Confidence doesn’t have to be loud or flashy. It’s the ability to hold down your own fort when your mind is absent during more difficult days. Confidence is calm and not pushy. It isn’t about pushing down your two cents to someone’s throat without any care how the other will feel.
It’s about acknowledging your own thoughts without disapproving others’ viewpoints. Don’t confuse confidence with arrogance or with someone who hides their insecurities by pointing out others insecurities. It’s not someone who is the center of attention or the light of the room. It’s that person who knows their own strengths without feeling better or superior towards someone who doesn’t hold the same list of strengths. It’s knowing you have your own light while others have their own.
Confidence is not demanding or external-oriented. You could flash out or feel attacked when someone disagrees with the way you think, but that only shows the lack of confidence in yourself. When you truly believe in yourself, then you should know that getting angry or worked up about every little thing is just not worth it. Don’t confuse confidence with pride or a huge ego, it only shows the opposite of it. We are too proud of our own good. To have a strong base of confidence, you need to let go of that tempting feeling of explaining everything to anyone. To know that your set of knowledge is not the end game and that you are glad to be able to learn more from others instead of feeling intimidated by it.
It may is an individual process but it’s one that you can help others along the way as well by building up their confidence with your empathy and kindness.