It’s Not About The Chase, It’s About Connection

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Vinicius Wiesehofer / Unsplash

We try so hard to keep ourselves satisfied at the end of the day. On some days, we succeed and feel like nothing can stop us. Most days, we struggle to feel the least satisfied and numb ourselves with activities to distract the fact that we can’t seem to find that last puzzle piece to complete, be content for a second or so, frame it and enjoy your accomplishment. But before you know it, that ecstatic feeling fades even quicker than the pace of our breathing.

We breathe in, breathe out and already show no sign of care what we did to satisfy ourselves or make ourselves proud of the things we have accomplished so far.

We breathe in, breathe out and are already chasing the next thing that we can clamp our mind into it.

What we chase?

It can be anything.

Mostly materialistic goods. Mostly things that we can replace.

Though, we like to chase people as well because we hope they can give us something that it’s in a high position on our wishlist. We hope they have the answers we desperately are seeking to our personal questions. Sometimes we don’t even know what our questions are, sometimes we even hope they can give us questions, so we can give answers to it. Or even worse, we chase people so they can give us meaning. Both questions and answers. Both desires and the act of fulfilling those wishes.

Again, once those desires are fulfilled and we feel satisfied afterward, the circle can start all over again from point zero. We mistake desires for necessary needs, like eating and sleeping. There is no way we only need to eat once in our lifetime. We need to keep ourselves alive.

It’s true that we don’t necessarily need desires and dreams to keep ourselves alive. But it does keep our spirit alive, otherwise, we would only exist without actually having lived. That’s pretty sad, don’t you think?

Once someone else fulfilled a wish of them, their dependence starts to fade away and they slowly shift away from that person. Because, needs are being met, what else is left to do once all goals are already been achieved?

Nothing. It’s time to hit the road again.

So they distanced themselves again and pack their bags to chase the next thing, the next person. Never looking back to trace the footprints it has left on the people they might have hurt because they only thought about the benefits they could take from them. Codependent people depend their life on others, but when they don’t have the options they can choose from to depend on, they suddenly become like ghosts. Disappearing and showing themselves once in a while, giving you a scare out of the blue because you didn’t expect them to crawl back to you.

Though they can hurt you badly,

They are their own worst enemy.

Their need of depending on anything that’s not coming from themselves will keep them chasing and chasing until they realize it is worthless to keep running around in circles, only to face themselves in the mirror and see their chasings didn’t reap any benefits in the end.

Codependents dig their own grave because of the fact that they can’t seem to create their own questions and desired answers. It’s not about chasing, but finding within yourself what you are grateful for while keep working on yourself. It’s not about chasing people, it’s about connecting with people. It’s not about chasing materialistic goods but using the most out of it before purchasing another one.

It’s not about looking for the benefits that you can get from others, it’s about what you want to share and give to others with no expectations to receive something back in return.

Chasing won’t cure your mind. New experiences can shape your perspective, but at the end of the day, it is deeply buried in yourself to be satisfied with yourself first. No one else can do that for you.

Don’t believe me?

Well, then keep on chasing, it certainly will make you feel better. TC mark

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