The Only Way To Really Get To Know Yourself Is To Start Spending Time Alone

Woman with wavy hair exploring the mountains on a hike alone
Brooke Cagle / Unsplash

I used to think that it was just sad for those who eat out alone, go to a movie alone, or even just walking down the street alone. I would think why anyone would willing to be alone in public? Isn’t that extremely lonely? For some, it may be the case that some do wish to have company but haven’t had the chance to meet the right people. On the other hand, some do consciously spend time alone. For those people, I applaud you because you are able to see the importance of it.

There is something really authentic about alone-time.

When we spend time with others, we take each other into account, we adjust subconsciously depending on the person you are with at that moment. The less close you are, the more you adjust. Thus, the less you express your authentic self. It’s okay when you retreat from time to time, away from unnecessary meetups and people. Even when surrounded by closed ones, I still need to squeeze some time in for only myself. Not because I don’t like their company, it’s because I like my own company as well. It’s because I like to be on my own with my own thoughts and daydreams, without noises interrupting me.

That’s the beauty of spending time alone.

The last couple of days I spend most of the time alone. It just happens so because I literally only know a person in this new city and haven’t had did anything so far concerning meeting new people. But I’m actually fine with it, I’m more than fine with it. It’s an aesthetic appreciation towards myself once I took myself out into the world of the unknown because I knew I would have to face a lot of things alone. I enjoy this feeling with an underlying anxiety. It scares me out to think that anything I do, will point back at myself when things aren’t going the way I had in mind. That also means I would be the one fixing it without the excuse of blaming someone else. Look around you. How much time does someone blame others for their own actions without reflecting what may have caused it? It’s the easy way out to blame others while looking critically at yourself is a slap in your own face.

That’s when spending time with yourself come into the picture as well. By doing so, you are constantly self-reflecting. From every step and every decision, it goes through your own mind.

When spending time alone, you would develop a sense of responsibility to yourself.

This feeling of responsibility will get so strong to the point that anything you decide to deal with is coming from a good place. This place is called self-care. Caring about and for yourself isn’t selfish at all. I felt empowered when I was surrounded by people on my way of exploring. Even though lots of things were happening at the same time, I still could find myself and my trust instinct. That’s one more benefit, by spending time alone, you learn to trust yourself. I mean, if you don’t, don’t expect others to see your authentic side when you don’t have the courage to do anything on your own.

The most dangerous one is actually not having the guts to own up your own life and steer it in whatever direction you want to be.

Because, if you don’t, what else is seriously still left of you?

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