A question I have been asked made me inspired to write this post.
“But you weren’t really happy doing that job, right?”
“No, actually I wasn’t. I just thought that I was supposed to do that”.
I thought unconsciously that others expected me to find a job in the field I majored in. It was just an easy way out when someone asks me what I was doing with my life because honestly, I really do not know what I’m doing.
When saying that out loud, I found it ridiculous how I put others first instead of myself. And what is “supposed to” anyway?! There is not a specific description how to live your life, and what we are supposed to do according to our gender, age, ethnicity, college degree, and many more things. And we must feel grateful for it, it wasn’t always like this before when women weren’t even allowed to have an education and men were expected to be the breadwinner of the family. Still, some things never change. Fast forwarding to 2018, people are STILL judging you how you supposed to live your life. But I have good news for you:
We can fill in our life just the way we want.
Yes, people will judge you anyway, they will always think they know more about your own life than yourself. But, you have the choice to not listen to them, to have your own judgment towards your own life, to take advice which you think will work in your favor.
But that’s it.
Don’t let others get inside your head – don’t let others persuade you to think you are supposed to take that specific job, or date that specific guy/girl, or look in a specific way, or live in a specific country. Getting married at a certain age, act in an appropriate way based on your appearance.
You are not supposed to believe in everything the media broadcasts, or what your history books tell you. You are and should able to perceive and judge for yourself. You don’t need to explain it to others, especially those who don’t take any important space in your life.
You know what we all have in common? Well, maybe you didn’t know it yet, but all of us possess a book from day one. Each one of us starts with the same blank spaces. Then we fill it in with chapters as time passes by and by doing so, we turn those same blank spaces into our unique stories.
You are not a side character in your own book – and you will never be if you don’t let that happen.
You are entitled to fill it in with any story you want. No one else is responsible to write your book.
Guess what? You are – the one thinking of the concept when you are fantasizing about your future – the one who writes it when you are living in the moment – the one deciding which characters take a certain part of your story when you meet new people – the one who edits the story when you find out certain people and things don’t work out as you thought it would be – the one who will finish it until the end of the book. There is no fixed story, you write it as you live through it. You shouldn’t think you need to do something because you are supposed to do it. It’s the same if you hand over your most precious pen and let others write your story for you and when you let others fill in each chapter. I don’t know about you, but I prefer living according to my own stories and not others who have written it for me.
There is no “supposed to.”
The only thing that you are supposed to know is that you are in charge of your own book.
You can always change the course of the story. You can always make a chapter shorter even though you thought it would be a longer chapter. You can always make yourself the protagonist when you were just someone who used to stand on the sideline.
There is no right or wrong way to live my life, only my own way because I’m the author of my own story.