1. You associate the colors black and yellow with more than Wiz Khalifa’s single. You have black and gold hats, coffee mugs, terrible towels, pom poms, posters, and countless sports memorabilia and apparel that makes you look like a crazed bumblebee. And you rep it hard no matter where you go.
2. You like coleslaw and french fries on everything and know that sandwiches aren’t complete without shoving every condiment and side dish onto a soft Mancini’s bun (same goes for Uncle Sam’s). Primanti Brother’s Sandwiches have for some reason been the first and pretty much only Pittsburgh food relevant to the rest of the world and I encourage everyone to check out Pittsburgh food for themselves. I have traveled around the U.S. and have yet to find better Italian, Mexican, and American cuisine in one area.
3. You have endured brutal winters and are surprised to see green grass and clear skies by July. It’s also completely acceptable to strike up conversation with strangers about the weather and how damn cold it gets “dahntahn”. But, you deal with the winters because nothing beats Pittsburgh during a warm, summer night at dusk after you played outside all day with the neighbors.
4. You have a very recognizable dialect and vocabulary that includes words like “pop” (soda), “hoagie” (submarine sandwich), “gumband” (rubberband), and if you’re my grandparents…. “warsh” (wash). You’re proud of your difference in speech and even though you may be educated or experienced, you could never bring yourself to ask for a refill of “soda”.
5. You love Kennywood and make a point to go every single year. You even legally got a day off of school to go to Kennywood every year because Pittsburgh feels so strongly about this amazing heaven on earth! You have been on every single ride at least once and get excited to go every year when they unleash yet another ridiculous coaster. You eat Potato Patch Fries and chicken tenders and swear each time is better than the last. You walk around in wet jeans that chafe your thighs but go on the Log Jammer a 4th time anyways. You eat funnel cake and Dippin’ Dots until you almost throw up, and then enjoy the spins from the rides for the next 2 days. And you definitely aren’t going to school the next day.
6. You hate the Flyers. And the Ravens. And the Cowboys. Moving on.
7. You love a nice cold beer, especially Yuengling or Iron City, and know its necessary to indulge on a Friday after a long work week or during a Steelers game. You grew up drinking beer like it was water and have learned there is really no bad time for a beer.
8. You know all the famous celebrities, actors, and musicians from Pittsburgh off the top of your head, such as Christina Aguilera, Bret Michaels, Wiz Khalifa, and Mac Miller. But you chose to ignore those for the classier, more successful ones. Like Mark Cubain and Andy Warhol.
9. You have gotten over dressed and drunk in the Southside (sah-syde) and readily agreed to never go back to that sweaty circus they call bar hopping. Until the next weekend when you realize there’s nothing else to do and come prepared with flasks and flat shoes.
10. You’ve been to Mt. Washington and understand that this is probably the best view of a city in the entire world. With Pittsburgh being “The City of Bridges”, it comes as no surprise how much this contributes to its landscape and this view allows you to see all three rivers connecting among the skyline. It’s really quite amazing and was most definitely your wallpaper at some point in time.
11. And lastly, you live, eat, and breathe the Pittsburgh Steelers. Your dad loves them, your mom loves them, and even your little sister understands not to dare touch the sacred living room TV during Steelers Sunday. You were raised knowing the significance of this team to your family and your city and knew the player’s names better than your extended family. Also, your response to any Steelers haters is simply, “how many rings???”