The Main Reasons I Haven’t Yet Become Someone Who Meditates

neon 'breathe' sign
Tim Goedhart

1. Because I’m always tired. And for some reason, the idea of meditating sounds more exhausting to me than running ten miles. Which is saying a lot. Because the last time I ran was to the bus stop and the time before that was never.

2. Because it sounds like something “other people” do. As in, just anyone who is not me.

3. Because subconsciously I also think other people deserve to meditate more than I do because I am convinced they would be better at it.

4. Because I’m pretty sure I’m waiting for a muse to show up at my door, lead me down the stairs and into a fancy car with leather seats, gently walk me into a meditation/yoga center, sit me down and make me feel comfortable, and then tell me throughout the entire hour that no, I do not look stupid.

5. Because I have to pay a doctor’s bill online today and other busy stuff like that.

6. Because I’ll do it tomorrow instead.

7. Because I probably don’t have the right pants for it.

8. Because the thought of trying to teach my brain to rest for a moment sounds overwhelming, terrifying, impossible, and also boring.

9. Because meditating has been my ‘someday’ plan for a while, and if it becomes my ‘today’ plan, then what’s the next thing that will take its place in my ‘someday’ plan?

10. Because I’m afraid of the other things I’ll try to accomplish if I end up trying and loving meditation.

11. Because meditation means sitting in the quiet and I haven’t quite figured out how to fully be alone with my thoughts yet.

12. Because I’m afraid it’s going to change my life for the better and sometimes good things feel really scary before they begin. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

I’m a staff writer for Thought Catalog. I like comedy and improv. I live in Chicago. My Uber rating is just okay.

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