Alexa, why do I feel so mediocre today?
Alexa, what is the exact amount of caffeine I can drink that will get me to that perfect point between not having a lack-of-caffeine-headache and not having a too-much-caffeine headache?
Alexa, what articles did I just spend an hour clicking through on the internet? I don’t even remember.
Alexa, what’s my excuse for just now responding to a text that I received three days ago?
Alexa, what’s an appropriate amount of time in-between doing loads of laundry?
Alexa, why do I always promise myself I’m going to be ~creatively productive~ after work and then I look up and it’s 10:32 pm and I’m clicking through a slideshow via E! Online?
Alexa, are there any other interesting E! Online slideshows I can look through while I’m waiting for you to answer this question?
Alexa, why do I keep assuming my hangovers will get better, not worse, with each passing year?
Alexa, play “Chumbawamba.”