A Bunch Of Things I’m Really Trying To Let Go Of This Year

Woman in front of neon lights
Ari He

*Comparing my career path to people who are (or are around) my age and convincing myself that if my situation isn’t exactly like theirs, I’ve failed.

*Holding on to bad days after they’re over.

*Scrolling through my newsfeeds in a way that is mindless and frenetic. I understand that, at least for myself and my career, it’s impractical to try and give up social media. But this year, I would like to make it a goal to be very conscious when I’m on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook – that I’m not trying to consume dozens of things in seconds, I’m paying attention, and I’m not looking through my feeds for an unhealthy amount of time.

*Getting upset about something I absolutely will not care about in a year from now.

*Getting upset about something I absolutely will not care about in two days from now.

*Explaining my decisions and choices to people whose opinions I don’t even care about.

*Always saying ‘yes’ to things, even when I know that I really need some rest or a night to myself.

*Not putting an active effort towards quitting as many of my bad habits as possible, even the little ones.

*Convincing myself that I should be doing something productive, even when I’ve specifically set aside this time to relax and give my brain a break.

*Only reflecting on my achievements or things I did well, instead of forcing myself to analyze and work on things that I need to (and would like to) do better.

*Thinking that crying is weak or bad. With each passing year of my twenties, I’ve found that nearly 100% of the time, I feel way better and way healthier after I cry. So I’d like to stop convincing myself that I have to hold everything in when it’s dying to come out. Especially on a crappy day.

*Sleeping next to my phone.

*Not absolutely prioritizing my physical health and my mental health.

*Not being aware enough of my own emotions, and thinking they have more power over me than I do over them. TC mark

Kim Quindlen

I'm a staff writer for Thought Catalog. I like comedy and improv. I live in Chicago. My Uber rating is just okay.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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Image Credit: Ari He

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