23 Hilarious E-Cards That Accurately Summarize Your Relationship With Alcohol

By Kim Quindlen,

1. 

Throwback Thursday reminds me of when I could drink on a Thursday and still make it to work on Friday.

2. 

Sorry you left your credit card and dignity at the bar last night.

3. 

Your sobriety has truly demonstrated to me that people don't need alcohol to be annoying.

4. 

Happy Iced Tea day from someone who only drinks iced tea from Long Island.

5. 

I'm outdoorsy in that I like getting drunk on patios

6. 

I can't attend the office Happy Hour because I'm too honest when I drink.

7. 

Let's celebrate your pregnancy by me getting wasted.

8. 

Let's share a bottle of wine and our opinions on everyone we know.

9. 

My favorite wine to drink while watching TV is pretty much any wine.

10. 

You'll always be a first round pick in my weekend drinking draft.

11. 

I’ve decided to quit drinking until my direct deposit comes through.

12. 

I’ve decided to quit drinking until my direct deposit comes through.

13. 

I'm sorry for getting so drunk on your birthday that people thought it was my birthday.

14. 

Maybe it's the booze talking, but I want you to know I love booze

15. 

You're even more dependable than alcohol

16. 

The fastest hangover cure is a fast-paced 10-mile walk of shame.

17. 

I drink a glass of wine every day in the hopes of living longer to drink more wine.

18. 

Sorry I brought cheap beer to your party, then drank all your expensive beer.

19. 

I'm way too sick for work but should be fine for happy hour.

20. 

Just wanted you to know I can expense our drinks as long as I complain about work.

21. 

Let's go out tonight to celebrate that it's not Monday.

22. 

Happy Cinco de Mayo to someone who only knows those Spanish words.

23. 

Something about today makes me want to be hungover tomorrow.

I’m a staff writer for Thought Catalog. I like comedy and improv. I live in Chicago. My Uber rating is just okay.

Keep up with Kim on Instagram and Twitter

More From Thought Catalog