12 Formerly-Heartbroken People Share How They Actually Changed For The Better After Their Breakup


1. “I was so much less insecure. I was sad for a really long time, but eventually I was able to see how unhappy he made me and how low my self-esteem was with him (because he constantly made me feel not good enough). So I finally feel a lot lighter without him.”

–Theresa, 30

2. “I for sure became a much more empathetic person. When I was going through that whole thing and showing up to work every day completely miserable and really upset, it was clear that from the outside it wasn’t really obvious how sad I was (unless you really knew me well.) So I learned that there are so many people who are internally miserable and I have no idea what they’re going through, so that’s reminded me to be more understanding and patient and nice with people.”

–Wade, 26

3. “I stopped looking to him to give me all of my meaning and purpose in life and instead dove fully into my career, my social life, and my extracurricular passions. And now, dating feels so much less pressure-filled or anxiety-inducing. It’s still anxiety-inducing, but at least I still know who I am regardless of whoever I date.”

–Eryn, 28

4. “I stopped drinking as much.”

–Ross, 27

5. “I got in shape. She was kind of my safety blanket, and basically I got so comfortable that I stopped trying and I stopped taking care of myself. And then when she broke up with me I was a mess and didn’t want to become just a drunk, sad slob. So I just ran constantly. And I feel like so much less of a worthless shit now.”

–Oliver, 25

6. “I started doing things I wanted to do without worrying that he was gonna judge me or make fun of me. So I definitely became a more adventurous person after the breakup.”

–Rosa, 24

7. “I was less frustrated all the time and once I was less frustrated I realized I can be a pretty fun guy to be around.”

–Cory, 30

8. “I found a wonderful new group of friends that was way less toxic than the mutual group we shared together. Finally feel like I’m being myself now.”

–Sabrina, 24

9. “My career absolutely took off. I think he was always sensitive that I was more successful than him, and I think somewhere subconsciously, I felt guilty for it for some reason. And as soon as I was on my own again, I stopped worrying about making him feel good and starting focusing on doing fantastic work instead.”

–Erika, 27

10. “I’m just a lot happier. Wasn’t even in an unhealthy or emotionally abusive relationship or anything. It was just bland and plateaued and neither of us tried or cared and we were just being passive. So finally we were brave enough to mutually end it, and I feel like a whole new person who’s actually alive and living life and doing things and stuff.”

–Colin, 28

11. “I apologize more now. I used to be really stubborn and hated being wrong so much that I ruined a really great relationship. So even though I blew that, at least I can try better for next time.”

–Ricky, 29

12. “I feel like I finally have the room and the freedom to figure out who I am without worrying that someone is going to be standing there making fun of me or worrying that I’m leaving him behind.”

–Brooke, 31 Thought Catalog Logo Mark

I’m a staff writer for Thought Catalog. I like comedy and improv. I live in Chicago. My Uber rating is just okay.

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