22 Little Signs You’re In A Happy And Healthy Relationship That Actually Strengthens Your Independence

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1. You never feel like they take away any part of who you are on your own. You have a strong sense of self and you understand who you are outside of them and outside of your relationship.

2. But at the same time, you feel like they only add to your confidence, your happiness, your sense of self, and your overall life as a whole. They make you feel supported, encouraged, and loved for exactly who you are.

3. You each have hobbies that are just for you. Whether it’s yoga, art classes, snowboarding, running groups, book clubs, or anything in between, there are still things you each have that still feel entirely yours and yours alone.

4. But the nice part is that you both take an interest in one another’s passions. You love hearing about their latest adventures and they love hearing about yours, without either of you ever feeling like it takes away from your relationship or your time with each other.

5. Many of your individual friends have also become your significant other’s friends, but you still have plenty of nights and weekends where you take a break from each other and hang out with your friends separately.

6. There’s no sense of competition between you. When one of you gets a raise or a promotion or finds a new job or discovers a new hobby, you both win.

7. You can always say you need some time to yourself without them ever feeling offended or insecure.

8. You never feel like you need to ask for each other’s permission when making decisions about your own life (that are unrelated to the relationship). But you do always seek each other’s opinions and advice anyway, because you have so much respect and trust for one another.

9. They’re not your sole source of emotional support or fulfillment; you know that you both also have friends and family members you can additionally turn to when you’re struggling through a difficult experience.

10. But of everyone in your life, they’re always the first person you instinctively go to when you need to talk to someone you can trust, depend on, and feel loved and supported by.

11. You can tease each other lightly and good-heartedly without ever actually feeling attacked or belittled. Much of the time, nothing makes you laugh more than when they mock or impersonate your funny quirks.

12. Your relationship is just one out of many things you talk about when you’re asked to describe yourself or to discuss your life.

13. You don’t organize every little aspect of your life around them, but when it comes time to make big, life-altering decisions, you always make them together.

14. And you’re both okay with the fact that often, those life-altering decisions mean that one of you has to make a little bit of a sacrifice for the other. Even though it’s hard, you both understand that you’ll always take turns and that you’ll always be willing to do anything for each other.

15. And most important of all, you never look at these sacrifices and decisions as a measuring contest of who now owes a favor to whom.

16. There’s a healthy balance between you each fighting your own battles, but also holding one another up when one of you is having a hard time. You don’t try to ‘fix everything’ for one another or prevent one another from having any challenging experiences whatsoever – because you understand that struggle is a natural part of any adult’s life. But you also never hesitate to step in, do whatever you can to help your partner, and to help them keep themselves afloat when they feel like they’re drowning (and they do the same for you).

17. Neither of you ever feels like you’re being left behind when one of you is particularly inspired or in the middle of a huge streak of success. Instead, you just inspire each other even more to keep going, keep trying, and keep accomplishing, because you truly feel like a team.

18. When you accomplish something, no one is more proud than your significant other.

19. And you’re the same way with them.

20. You’re not afraid to be tough on each other, and to constantly challenge each other if you can tell you’re not living up to your full potential.

21. You’ve both become experts at giving one another the exact pep talk you need at the exact right time.

22. Although you’re both focused at all times on working towards your goals and accomplishing your dreams, nothing makes you happier than being together, encouraging one another, and feeling like you’ve truly found your person when you’re together. TC mark

Kim Quindlen

I'm a staff writer for Thought Catalog. I like comedy and improv. I live in Chicago. My Uber rating is just okay.

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