16 Formerly Heartbroken Women Share Their Best Piece Of Advice For Getting Over Him


1. “Lean on your friends, 100%, especially in the first week or two. If you need one of your friends to sleep over, ask them to sleep over. Text them for dinner and to get drinks after work and stuff and keep yourself as busy as possible socially.”

2. “I learned how to ask for help. I was always so stubborn and hated admitting/talking about my feelings before, but I was so devastated that I learned how to ask for support and encouragement from my friends and sisters and family. And they were so loving and made me feel so cared for.”

3. “Lots of massages. At one point (my lowest point) I was going once a week. Sometimes it was the only thing getting me through the day. But at least it made me tired and relaxed after and I had an easier time sleeping.”

4. “Do all the stereotypical rom-com stuff. Ice cream pints (specifically Ben & Jerry’s Cookie Dough option), making your friends come over and putting on a movie and painting your nails, eating Nutella out of the jar with a spoon, putting on your coziest pajamas and a big loose sweatshirt and fuzzy socks and laying on the couch for a while. It gave me this odd comforting feeling of like – so many other women had done this before me and they were okay, so I will be too.”

5. “Date someone way, way better.”

6. “Taking Vitamin D. My breakup happened in the winter which was hard enough, so having that extra dose of ‘sun’ in a way helped me, even if it was the placebo effect.”

7. “Start doing all those things on your bucket list that you keep saying you’ll ‘get to.’ Travel (solo or with friends), signing up for yoga classes, bungee jumping, horse carriage rides, learning a new language. Do those things NOW. Now is the time.”

8. “If it happens during the holidays, decorate the fuck out of your apartment. You’ll still feel lonely, but it helps when there’s candles and lights and garland everywhere. And my Christmas tree was my saving grace. It made me so happy every night.”

9. “Unfollow him on EVERYTHING. Otherwise it’ll be way easy to obsess. You’ll still obsess but you’ll obsess less if you’re not looking at his Facebook and Instagram.”

10. “Don’t text him when you’re drunk.”

11. “Try going on a bunch of dates, even if you have no motivation or no purpose or don’t see a future second date with any of them. Just getting out there and seeing that there are still multiple single guys out there will make you feel a little comforted, even if you won’t be ready to seriously try it for a while.”

12. “There’s a lot of actually decent love advice and articles on the internet if you look carefully and on the right sites. It’ll be a good way to feel like you’re not alone and you’re not the only person going through this.”

13. “Have a best friend or sibling that you can call or text when it’s midnight and you’re lonely and you want to talk to him. Talking to him will ONLY make it worse, even if it feels good in the moment.”

14. “Throw out the pictures, notes, cards, gifts (if it’s not something too crazy to throw out). The more you cling to them, the harder it will be to let go.”

15. “Read a lot of books. Try a lot of new shows. Go through the list of movies you’ve always wanted to see. Do everything possible to keep your mind super busy, and do stuff that’s interesting or educational and makes you feel like you’re growing.”

16. “Just don’t forget how tough you are. If you need a reminder, here it is: YOU’RE TOUGH. YOU CAN GET THROUGH THIS.” Thought Catalog Logo Mark

I’m a staff writer for Thought Catalog. I like comedy and improv. I live in Chicago. My Uber rating is just okay.

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