The Grandma: Leaves the party early. Doesn’t have an excuse other than “I’m tired.” Doesn’t feel bad about it.
The Barney Stinson: The one you continue to somehow be friends with, even though you tell him that he is a douchebag at least twice a day.
The Wunderkind: Is in real estate or investment banking or some other job where they make an obscene amount of money. Always is the one to buy a round of ten shots the second everyone walks into the bar. Consistently suggests ‘Cabo’ when everyone discusses a reunion trip.
The Startup Person: Brings their dog to work. Has the coolest company parties. Still drinks Red Bull.
The Aspiring Comedian: Invites you to a Facebook event three times a week. Begs you to come to their ‘5 person bringer’ standup show. Starts a podcast about something super random.
The Crossfitter: Never worked out in college and is suddenly the most in-shape person you know. Gets up to exercise at an ungodly hour every morning. Has recently announced that they are starting a side hustle as some sort of health/fitness coach. Encourages you to buy their protein powders.
The ‘Real’ Grownup: Got married at 23. Already has two kids. Invites you over for a home-cooked meal when you ask if they want to hang out. Is the one you seek advice from, even if they’re younger than you.
The Down-to-Clowner: Always down to get a beer (or six) with you after a long day. Even if you text them at 8 o’clock on a Sunday night. Is the last person to leave Happy Hour. Has a mystical ability to show up to work bright-eyed and bushy-tailed regardless of how much they drank the night before.
The Tween Whisperer: Knows the words to every song in the Top 40. Is well-versed in all the latest trends that you now refer to as the “things the kids these days are doing.” Always texts you acronyms that you have to google the meaning of.
The Teacher: Constantly exhausted. Falls asleep four minutes into movie night. Works longer and harder than everybody else. Has to deal with random people at weddings saying ‘Wow, a workday ending at 3! Must be nice!’
The Eat. Pray. Love-r: Has been traveling around the world for what seems like forever. Profile picture is them riding an elephant in Thailand. Posts the best Snapchat stories.
The Lily-Padder: Has a new love interest every other week. Understands when you tell them you forgot the name of their current flame. Happily obliges when you say, “Remind me how you met this one again?”
The Not-A-Real-Person: Still doesn’t know how to cook. Always late. Has missed their flight multiple times. Is just one, big, lovable hot mess.
The ‘Literally The Coolest Person’ Person: Is seriously so cool, without being annoying. Wears outfits that you know you could never pull off. Super down to earth. Your favorite person to stalk on Instagram when you’re pooping.