1. Would you rather only be able to watch one show repeatedly for the rest of your life, or only be able to watch the first episode of every show in existence for the rest of your life?
2. Would you rather have a car alarm go off every night outside of your window but get to sleep in as late as you wanted, or have a peaceful, quiet sleep every single night but have to get up every morning at 3?
3. Would you rather be immune to hangovers forever, or never have to go to the dentist ever again?
4. Would you rather be able to eat everything you ever wanted and have an amazing body, or buy everything you’ve ever wanted and never run out of money?
5. Would you rather have to stand up in the middle of every wedding ceremony you attend and scream “It should have been me!” or take the microphone during somebody’s reception speech and cry about how alone you are?
6. Would you rather be able to speak to animals or be able to read other people’s minds?
7. Would you rather have all water taste like vodka or all food taste like old feet [without their actual essences changing]?
8. Would you rather tell someone that their new baby is ugly or that their new spouse is ugly?
9. Would you rather look 90 starting right now but live until you’re 90, or look 21 starting right now but only live for another 10 years?
10. Would you rather only be able to text in emojiis for the rest of your life or have the ‘low storage space’ notification pop up on your phone every day for the rest of your existence (and be unable to fix it)?
11. Would you rather be the top dog at a shitty company or be the worst employee at the best company in the world?
12. Would you rather be The Bachelor(ette) or be a contestant on Bachelor in Paradise?
13. Would you rather be sent home on the first night of The Bachelor(ette) or stay on until the ‘Final 2’ but be the villain?
14. Would you rather be banned from ordering delivery ever again or be banned from using Uber (or any similar service) ever again?
15. Would you rather have to abstain from alcohol or from caffeine for the rest of your life?
16. Would you rather have unlimited La Croix forever or be able to binge watch any show you want, even if all the episodes haven’t aired yet?
17. Would you rather never wash your sheets ever again or only be able to shower once every two weeks?
18. Would you rather snort obnoxiously every time you laughed or have a voice that sounded exactly like Janice from Friends?
19. Would you rather have unlimited free therapy sessions forever, or a one-time three-hour life session with Oprah?
20. Would you rather have to eat the same exact thing every single day but never have to pay for your food, or be able to eat whatever you want but have to pay twice as much for everything you buy?
21. Would you rather be unemployed but have everyone think you’re the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, or be the CEO of a Fortune 500 company but have everyone think you’re unemployed?
22. Would you rather be absolutely adored by everyone or have unlimited power?
23. Would you rather have your life be narrated (publicly) by Morgan Freeman or Alec Baldwin?
24. Would you rather appear unbelievably attractive to your partner and extremely unattractive to everyone else, or unbelievably attractive to everyone else but extremely unattractive to your partner?
25. Would you rather have to permanently give up salts or sweets?
26. Would you rather have eyes the size of a baseball or eyes the size of a pea?
27. Would you rather have a straight, flawless smile with super yellow teeth, or super crooked teeth that are pearly white?
28. Would you rather spend the rest of your life always cold or always exhausted?
29. Would you rather be plain-looking but always the funniest person in the room, or super hot but always the most boring person in the room?
30. Would you rather have to wear the same outfit every day for the rest of your existence or have every single piece of clothing you own have a massive brown stain on it?
31. Would you rather show up to work one day with no pants, or pee yourself in the middle of a presentation in front of all your coworkers?
32. Would you rather have to sneak the word ‘moist’ into every conversation you have, or have a piece of pepper permanently stuck in your front teeth?
33. Would you rather have everyone publicly claim to hate you but secretly love you and admire you, or have everyone publicly claim to love you and admire you but secretly hate you?
34. Would you rather permanently smell like gasoline or like nail polish?
35. Would you rather have people think your significant other is way out of your league or that you are way out of your significant other’s league?
36. Would you rather cry every time you spoke or fart loudly every time you laugh?
37. Would you rather be permanently thirsty or permanently nauseous?
38. Would you rather have permanently bad breath or have your partner have bad breath but only around you?
39. Would you rather have your feet look like a second pair of hands or your hands look like a second pair of feet?
40. Would you rather be cheated on or be the person known to everyone else as a cheater?
41. Would you rather announce every single thing you say the way Oprah does (you get a car! you get a car!) or have every person ask you to repeat yourself after every single thing you say?
42. Would you rather be super intelligent but a huge asshole, or insanely kind but also incredibly stupid?
43. Would you rather post an extremely unflattering photo that gets hundreds of likes, or a super flattering photo that only gets one like total?
44. Would you rather have to lick people’s face whenever they go to shake your hand or scream “I didn’t wash my hands!” to all of your coworkers every time you come back from the bathroom?
45. Would you rather have a permanently spotless kitchen and a disgusting bedroom, or a permanently disgusting kitchen and a spotless bedroom?
46. Would you rather have all of your google searches, or all of your text messages, be broadcasted to everyone on Facebook?
47. Would you rather be known as someone who always crop-dusts or someone who never offers to pay the bill?
48. Would you rather be considered extremely lazy but have tons of friends, or be considered extremely successful but only have one friend?
49. Would you rather spend four total hours of your day commuting to and from work in a super luxurious car, or spend only one hour of your day commuting to and from work but on the smelliest, hottest, most crowded bus ride that’s ever existed?
50. Would you rather have a ten-hour car ride with someone you absolutely cannot stand or a thirty-hour car ride with someone you absolutely love?