1. What’s your greatest fear about settling down with someone?
2. Which couple in your life is the best example for the type of marriage that you want to have?
3. How do you say you’re sorry?
4. Is there something specific you need to hear or see when your partner is saying sorry to you?
5. What’s the most important thing you need your partner to do in order for you to feel respected and listened to?
6. What’s the number one nonverbal thing you do to show your partner that you love them?
7. What do you think you’ll do if or when your marriage reaches a temporary lull?
8. What is the worst thing someone could possibly say when they’re fighting with you?
9. What is the worst thing someone could possibly do when they’re fighting with you?
10. What’s the most important thing for you when it comes to making your relationship feel new and exciting every day?
11. What do you think is the most harmful thing to a marriage?
12. How did (and does) your family deal with conflict? Passive aggression? Open communication? Yelling? Sweeping it under the rug? Arguing calmly?
13. And how does that affect the way you handle conflict today?
14. Do you express your feelings more easily through actions or words?
15. What is your love language? Basically, do you express and experience your love through giving and receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of devotion, or physical touch?
16. What do you think is the difference between unhealthy fighting and healthy fighting?
17. If your marriage and/or future family is the most important thing in your life, what do you think are your second and third priorities?
18. What do you need to still feel independent and in tune with yourself throughout your marriage?
19. How important is religion to you?
20. If religion is unimportant to you but important to your partner, are you willing to adapt?
21. What’s your greatest vice when it comes to spending money?
22. How do you feel about ‘alone time,’ and how much of it do you need each day to feel recharged?
23. If your marriage is a strong focus on give and take, what are the things that you absolutely despise doing and that you would love for your partner to do? (Taxes? Changing diapers? Cooking?)
24. And what are the tedious and unappealing things you’d be willing and happy to do so that your partner wouldn’t have to? (Grocery shopping? Paying the bills? Cleaning the bathroom?)
25. What is the most amount of money you’re willing to spend on the various purchases that couples make together? A house, a car, home remodeling, vacations, etc?
26. What is the biggest trigger that leads to trust issues in a relationship for you?
27. What do you think is the healthiest way to go about making holiday plans (aka how will you decide between spending it with your partner’s family or your own?)
28. Where do you see yourself in ten years, and how does your partner factor into that?
29. What are your greatest pet peeves in a partner, and what would you do if your spouse was a perpetrator?
30. Do you want kids, and is it nonnegotiable one way or another?
31. If yes, what sorts of values and morals are most important for you to instill in your children?
32. Would you ever go to marriage counseling if your relationship was in trouble?
33. What specifically would it take to get you to go to a marriage counselor?
34. What would you do if the sexual attraction between you and your partner had severely decreased?
35. Do you think a relationship can ever come back from infidelity?
36. What would happen if you and your partner disagreed politically? Is that a major concern for you?
37. What is your ultimate idea of leisure, and where does your partner factor into that? Does leisure time need to be spent together or can it be spent alone?
38. What is the number one thing you need on a bad day?
39. What is the thing you look forward to the most about marriage?
40. What is the thing you look forward to least about marriage?
41. How do you decide when to take the advice of your partner and when to take the advice of your friends or family?
42. What kind of energy do you want your home to have – cozy, bright, modern, warm, trendy, spotless?
43. Should partners in a relationship share any and all money, or have separate bank accounts too?
44. Would you mind moving if your partner had to relocate for a job, and would you want them to do the same for you?
45. What happens if one, or both, spouses gain a significant amount of weight? Does it change anything?
46. Can some friends be kept separate, or would you prefer a marriage where all the friends are mutual?
47. How important is it to you to give some of your time or money to those in need?
48. When is it okay to do something without talking to your partner first?
49. What are the things that you think must be kept absolutely private to everyone else, only discussed between you and your significant other?
50. Besides ‘I love you,’ what is the most important thing that needs to be said in a relationship?
For more questions from Thought Catalog click here. Or read these articles: