25 Things Every Woman Should Know By 25

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chanelpluscat /

1.

Happiness is not a place to get to. It is a mindset.

2.

Envy is a waste of time. There is always going to be someone smarter than you, or younger than you, or thinner than you, or more financially stable than you.

3.

It’s difficult to ever fully get rid of the feeling of envy, but it loses much of its power when you can acknowledge its presence and then consciously focus your energy elsewhere.

4.

Finding the balance between being the protagonist of your own life, while also understanding that some things are simply out of your control, will bring you an incredible amount of peace.

5.

When you feel lost or worthless, it helps to remember that everyone is struggling with something.

6.

It is very possible to remain whole on your own, even after you’ve found your other half in someone else.

7.

You are not weak or desperate for showing kindness.

8.

There is a difference between saying “sorry” when you know you’re in the wrong, and saying “sorry” simply because you’ve been conditioned from an early age to always be apologizing.

9. 

Sometimes, people just aren’t going to like you. It sucks. But you can’t dwell on it.

10. 

External things will never fix you; happiness is something that needs to be worked on internally.

11.

The way to feel the most confident in stressful social situations is to remember that everyone else is probably just as nervous and uncomfortable as you.

12.

If someone texts back “k,” you are anything but in the clear.

13.

You will never, ever be able to please everyone. So you might as well do what you want to do and find your tribe along the way.

14.

Judging people is toxic, and will only make you feel worse. Everybody’s got their demons.

15.

When you do find yourself judging someone, it’s important to try to figure out why. Are you projecting? Are you seeing in them an insecurity you feel within yourself? Are you stressed about something that has nothing to do with them? Paying attention to why you’re judging others not only helps you to do it less, but also helps you to directly address your own demons.

16.

If he (or she) wanted to be with you, they would be with you. If they’re not, save yourself a lot of emotional torture and figure out how to let this one go.

17.

It’s okay if it takes you a long time, or a lot of effort, to finally get to a place of authenticity.

18.

Your emotions are always, and will always, be valid. Even if someone tries to make you feel “crazy” or “dramatic” for having them.

19.

Never underestimate the power of chocolate, or cheese, or both.

20.

If you don’t want to go to something, you don’t have to. People get over it really quickly.

21.

Sometimes the quickest way to lower your stress level is to remember how insignificant you are in the course of eternity.

22.

Figuring out how someone else is feeling usually has very little to do with their words.

23.

You are not obligated to put yourself down just to make someone else feel more comfortable.

24.

Life is a constant cycle of taking care of others and letting others take care of you.

25.

You are the only person who has to live your live, so listen to your gut more than you listen to anyone else’s. TC mark

Kim Quindlen

I'm a staff writer for Thought Catalog. I like comedy and improv. I live in Chicago. My Uber rating is just okay.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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