1. Not being afraid to go to sleep at night because you know there is no hangover waiting to destroy you when you wake up.
2. And coming out of your room in the morning to see that the only mess waiting for you is one unfolded blanket that you used while watching tv the night before.
3. Going to brunch with your friends and not feeling like you’re going to puke into the mimosa carafe.
4. Knowing what a mimosa carafe is and being at peace with your own pretentiousness.
5. Being physically capable of answering the phone if your mom calls you before noon.
6. Feeling no sense of shame when you stay in on a Friday night to do laundry.
7. Being able to afford your drinks when you do go out, because you have a job now.
8. Not looking like you’ve been inflated with an air pump, because you’ve stopped drinking so much beer.
9. Having more fun the more productive you are – signing up for a Costco membership, cleaning out your closet, cooking all your meals for the week. The more things you get done, the happier you feel.
10. Being proud of yourself when you get into bed before eleven o’clock at night.
11. Always saving time in your schedule to do “adulty” things, like buying fresh flowers or getting all your groceries before the Sunday evening hell rush.
12. Watching the emails pile up in your inbox and refusing to respond to them.
13. Or, spending a Saturday afternoon sorting through all of them so you can achieve #InboxZero and feel how weirdly satisfying it is.
14. When scrolling through Netflix becomes the new bar-hopping.
15. Knowing that no one can ever force you to get out of bed ever again.
16. But that you’ll probably just do it yourself because you can’t sleep in past ten anyways, no matter how hard you try.
17. Feeling comforted during your Sunday night wave of depression and anxiety by the fact that everyone else is just as miserable as you are about going back to work in the morning.
18. And waking up Monday morning with an infinite number of gifs in your newsfeed about how much Monday sucks – and knowing you’re never alone.