17 Struggles Of Dating A Morning Person When You’re (Definitely) Not One


1. Their waking time feels like the middle of the night for you. Sometimes, it actually is.

2. “Wanna get brunch tomorrow?” means two completely different things to you both. For them, it means let’s get there right when the restaurant opens. For you, it means let’s find a restaurant that serves brunch until 3 o’clock. 

3. In the beginning of the relationship, they always had time to make themselves look put-together and cute in the morning before you woke up. Whereas you, right from the get go, were just a drooling, hideous mess.

4. If you stay up late together on a week night, they’re perfectly fine and functional the next day. They even still manage to look cute. But you look like your soul was sucked out by the devil.

5. Traveling with them is impossible. They’re up at the crack of dawn and ready to get on the road before you’ve even brushed your teeth. And then they’re all happy-go-lucky throughout the entire trip while you seethe in exhaustion. You usually resort to the conclusion that you’ll probably have to kill them before the day is done.

6. They are definitely not the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you talk to at night.

7. In reality, by the time you wake up, they’ve actually spoken to multiple people. And gotten half of their to-do list done. And solved world hunger.

8. When you receive ‘good morning’ texts from them, it takes you a couple hours to reply. And usually the reply involves reassuring them that no, you’re not dead. You were just still waking up.

9. When they’re happy and smiley in the morning, you often debate temporarily breaking up with them.

10. If they ever do end up sleeping in late, they look at you accusingly – like you have some kind of disease and you gave it to them.

11. You’ve had to apologize to them multiple times after they’ve woken you up and you were accidentally an asshole for the first 30 seconds.

12. They’re always thoughtfully sending you articles about How To Have An Easier Time Waking Up or How To Become A Morning Person.

13. And you just have to say Thanks, honey. But this is who I am.

14. If you do get up before the normal time they’ve come to expect from you, they look at you like some dangerous, wild animal that just escaped from the zoo.

15. When you initially discovered the horrible truth about them being a morning person, you thought, hey, maybe this will turn me into a morning person too! But you were so, so wrong. In fact, it’s made you hate waking up even more than you already do.

16. Your pillow talk is always off. They want to share all their problems with you at the crack of dawn when you’re still comatose, and you want to vomit all your worries and fears onto them at midnight when they’ve already been asleep for two hours.

17. Many of your conversations involve them trying to convince you that getting up at 6 in the morning is so worth it and so incredible. And then you replying that there’s simply no chance in hell. But somehow, you make it work and manage to spend a few waking hours together during the day. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

I’m a staff writer for Thought Catalog. I like comedy and improv. I live in Chicago. My Uber rating is just okay.

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