1. Do I still feel like I can be my own person outside of the relationship?
2. Is it just as fun to stay in alone with them on a Saturday night as it is to have an expensive, active night out?
3. Do I love them enough to be willing to make sacrifices and difficult choices if it is what’s best for us as a partnership?
4. When we’re together, is it equal parts serious and light?
5. Do they force me to talk about things I’m struggling with, even when I don’t want to talk?
6. Do they support all of the dreams and goals I want to accomplish while still giving me sound and practical advice?
7. Does the relationship feel close to a 50-50 balance? Or is it more uneven, like 70-30 or even 80-20?
8. Do we have the same larger wants that will help keep us in harmony? In regards to kids or no kids, how important spirituality or religion is to us, how we feel about moving versus staying in the same place, etc?
9. But do we also have enough differences between us that will inspire us to grow as individuals and to try things that scare us?
10. Are they the first person I want to see and talk to when I have good news?
11. Are they the first person I want to see and talk to when I have bad news?
12. Do they call me out when I’m being selfish, greedy, lazy, etc?
13. Do they inspire me to be a better person simply because I’m so proud of them for the person they’ve become?
14. Do we have the same values?
15. Is my life lighter with them in it?
16. Do I feel like I always have something to learn from them and something to learn about them?
17. And do they treat me the same way?
18. Do I feel like they love me for who I am as a person, or do I feel like I have to earn their love through accomplishments, wealth, attractiveness, etc?
19. Are they the person I’m ready to pay the bills with, do taxes with, figure out childcare with, potentially move cities with, etc?
20. Does the mere thought of them bring me a source of comfort, even when we can’t stand each other?