18 Things Only Online Shopping Addicts Understand


1. You have your credit card(s) memorized and can recite all sixteen numbers, plus the expiration date and CVV code, in a matter of seconds.

2. And the memorization of it happened completely by accident.

3. You absolutely hate malls and will do anything in your power to avoid them.

4. Half of your inbox is full of spam from various clothing stores advertising a sale or new arrivals. And you want to delete them all but you can’t because WHAT IF YOU MISS SOMETHING AMAZING.

5. Your Black Friday is just as intense as everyone else’s. Except you do it on your couch and in your pajamas.

6. While most people go home and order a pizza after a drunken night out, you usually hop on your favorite sites and make some bad [financial] decisions that you know you’ll regret in the morning.

7. …As in, you’re more afraid to check your online shopping charges when you log into your bank account the next day than you are to check your bar tab total.

8. You either have an Amazon Prime account or you mooch off of your parents’ account. Because free two-day shipping is bae.

9. Every single ad that shows up on the sidebar of your Facebook is related to an online clothing store.

10. And you can’t roll your eyes about it because you’re too busy clicking the ad and seeing if this company has anything good to offer.

11. You’re all about the coupon/promo code websites – you wish you could hug those people on a daily basis.

12. You can’t stop yourself from coming up with hypothetical situations for any piece of clothing that you see/want, and exactly what kind of bizarre-but-totally-possible circumstance you’d need it for.

13. Your roommates are usually surprised if they arrive home and there isn’t some kind of package sitting at the doorstep.

14. It always gets worse in winter – you find yourself online ordering even the most basic stuff that you could easily purchase down the street at Walgreens. But it’s just. so. damn. cold.

15. Some people spend their lunch breaks reading books. Some go on walks. You open about eighteen different tabs on your computer of things you dream of purchasing.

16. Tracking packages is your favorite pastime.

17. You’ve had so much practice in purchasing things before trying them on that at this point, you can glance at something for five to ten seconds and know whether or not it will look good on your body.

18. You still catch yourself daydreaming about all of the items in your cart that never found a loving home. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

I’m a staff writer for Thought Catalog. I like comedy and improv. I live in Chicago. My Uber rating is just okay.

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