23 Guys On The Biggest Red Flag They Watch For When Dating

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1. “I don’t want to do things just for the sake of doing them or saying you did them. Date night sounds great and I want to have date nights, but I don’t want to go out to a nice restaurant just so we can put a picture on Instagram.”

-Jim, 26

2. “If she still talks about her ex a lot, I’m gone.”

-Mark, 23

3. “No drama. Cliche I know, but I’ve dated too many dramatic people to ever want to be anywhere near the faintest hint of drama ever again.”

-Darrell, 27

4. “Immaturity is the big one for me. If I don’t feel like I’m connecting with her on the same emotional or intellectual level, it’s not something I can really move on from.”

-Patrick, 30

5. “I can’t deal with Debbie Downers. I’m a really positive guy, so if I’m hanging out with someone who is just negative all the time and always complaining about stuff, I always cut it off.”

-Tommy, 24

6. “Someone who spends their whole time on their phone instead of being present in what’s actually going on. Especially if we are on a date.”

-Andrew, 30

7. “It’s really important that my family and friends like her. If they don’t, it’s usually because they’re seeing something I’m not about how we’re not good for each other.”

-Connor, 28

8. “If she cries every time she drinks – red flag.”

-Lucas, 22

9. “I will not go anywhere near someone who is passive-aggressive. If you are upset with me, let’s save ourselves a bunch of time and have you come right out with it instead of dancing around what’s bothering you. Because I will not be able to figure it out otherwise.”

-Martin, 31

10. “If her friends are nuts, I have a hard time getting around that.”

-Kyle, 23

11. “Someone who talks badly about other people. The quickest way to tell whether or not a girl is insecure is by how she talks about other women.”

-Aaron, 26

12. “If we’ve been dating for a little while and she hasn’t introduced me to any of her friends, that’s usually cause for concern.”

-Joe, 24

13. “I pay attention to the way she talks to servers, Uber drivers, retail employees, that kind of thing. You can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat people in the ‘service industry’ or whatever you wanna call it.”

-Roger, 29

14. “Clingy.”

-Will, 21

15. “Someone who doesn’t know how to hold a conversation.”

-Vin, 25

16. “When we’re texting, if she has bad grammar or can’t put a sentence together, it really bothers me more than I’d like it to.”

-Charlie, 28

17. “Absolutely no drama.”

-Josh, 22

18. “This isn’t really a red flag, but I love dating women who are just as interested in music as I am. So if I’ve gone out on a few dates with someone and then she tells me she’s not a big music fan, that’s a huge bummer.”

-Jordan, 26

19. “Maybe this is shallow but I can’t stand loud talkers. It’s just so obnoxious and it drives me nuts.”

-Shawn, 30

20. “A red flag is if she only ever wants to make plans with me. I don’t want to date someone whose only social life is her boyfriend.”

-Drew, 25

21. “I stay away from anyone who is judgmental or rude to other people. I don’t want that in my life.”

-Brendan, 29

22. “I’m wary of dating someone who doesn’t have any hobbies outside of work. I think if you don’t have other things going on besides your job and your relationship, you end up spending almost too much time on the relationship.”

-Jake, 27

23. “I want to be with someone who is driven and hard-working and passionate about something, even if that something is not her career. So if she’s lazy or not interested in anything, I’ll steer clear.” Thought Catalog Logo Mark

-Robert, 29

I’m a staff writer for Thought Catalog. I like comedy and improv. I live in Chicago. My Uber rating is just okay.

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