16 Signs You’re Completely Addicted To Caffeine And It’s Whatever


1. You actually look forward to going to bed, because you know that the sooner you fall asleep, the sooner you can wake up and have your first cup of coffee or tea.

2. The attachment you feel towards your Keurig or coffee maker is unlike anything you’ve ever felt for any other appliance.

3. Every time you think you’ve kicked your caffeine addiction, it takes just one thing to bring it right back: finals, a stressful work project, Monday, etc.

4. The only thing that gets you to work in the morning is knowing that you can have another coffee or tea as soon as you walk in the door.

5. Even if there’s an annoying coworker in the office kitchen, you’re willing to risk it if it means a steaming cup of caffeine at your fingertips.

6. Soda is child’s play.

7. But desperate times call for desperate measures. So if you’re nowhere near a coffee shop, you better believe you’re at least going to snag a Coke out of the nearby vending machine.

8. Nothing enrages you more than Caffeine Free soda. What is the damn point?

9. “One day I’m going to give up caffeine. But today is not that day.” -You, Every Single Morning.

10. Pretty much any attempt you’ve ever made to kick your caffeine habit resulted in you lasting for 3 hours before a headache kicked in and you quit.

11. Every day is National Coffee Day when you have a serious caffeine dependency.

12. Starbucks and Dunkin’ Donuts and Tim Horton’s should build you a damn statue for all of the money you’ve thrown at them over the years.

13. You don’t care much for merchandise that says stuff like “Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee!” Partially because it’s cheesy, but mostly because it’s TOO REAL.

14. David Lynch’s quote “A bad cup of coffee is better than no coffee at all” is basically the way you live your life.

15. You’ve had more days than you’d like to admit in which you simply lost count of how many cups of coffee, tea, or soda that you drank.

16. “I won’t have any caffeine over the weekend” is a lie you’ve told yourself approximately 326 times so far in your life. TC mark

Kim Quindlen

I'm a staff writer for Thought Catalog. I like comedy and improv. I live in Chicago. My Uber rating is just okay.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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  • hayleygreenhouse92

    I had two Starbucks visits today. I’m feeling the crash.

  • https://thatsugarfix.wordpress.com/ Casey

    Can relate!! #coffeeislife

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