1. Avoid sending texts like luv u. It will make everything horrible.
2. If you ever give them an eloquent, handwritten card along with a gift, they’ll be so preoccupied with the beautiful card that they’ll forget that there’s a second part of the present.
3. If they tweet something that has a mistake in it, you better believe they will delete it and repost the whole thing all over again. Thank God Facebook and Instagram allow for edits.
4. They’re not proud of it. They don’t consider having an OCD-level obsession with grammar to be any sort of accomplishment. It’s more like an inconvenient personality flaw that drives them crazy, because spelling mistakes CANNOT BE DEFEATED.
5. The image of you sitting on the couch and casually reading a book will get them going in a way that they cannot explain.
6. Even back in the day, they usually spelled everything out on AIM. While most tweens abbreviated every word possible while chatting it up with pals after Survivor was over, they were not about that life.
7. So even if their crush messaged them with, “Hey wutz ^,” they were initially too distraught by the grammar to celebrate such an incredible moment in time.
8. And while we’re reminiscing, nothing was more thrilling for a middle school grammar nerd than that of finding a grammatical error in a textbook.
9. Autocorrect is simultaneously their savior and the bane of their existence. No, they are not ducking excited. But it’s too late to do ANYTHING about it. The damage is DONE.
10. When it comes to tv shows and movies, they were – and still are – always attracted to the nerdy person that the main character isn’t supposed to notice until the end. Hello, Gordo.
11. They have physical reactions (read: cringing, recoiling, light vomiting) to words like “irregardless.”
12. Don’t bring up the Oxford comma if you’re not a fan. They will fight you to the death.
13. Apostrophes are a dangerous game. Tread lightly.
14. Their fears include: typos and death. In that order.
15. They will use semi-colons in their text messages. Just embrace the pretentiousness. They’re well-aware that it’s annoying.
16. They’re already debating what age their nonexistent children will be when they introduce them to Harry Potter.
17. They have a very hard time not judging coworkers based on how their emails are written. They know it’s a bad habit. They’re trying to quit. But what are they supposed to do when their boss emails them something that says Can u check the status of the report I need to no what the next steps are thx for looking in to in it. They should quit, right? Quitting is the only option here?
18. They are very emotional when it comes to there, they’re, and their, and your and you’re, and it’s and its.
19. If you’re ever unsure of what their favorite subject was in school, just assume it was English.
20. Their very concerned with making sure that every email they send out is flawless.
21. If they read this post, the incorrect spelling of their in #20 will give them a heart attack.