1. You’d prefer not to think about the number of phone chargers you’ve had to replace over the years.
2. …Like, you’re pretty much on a first-name basis with the guy at Best Buy.
3. Whenever you’re drunk, you frequently leave yourself little notes or clues before you go to bed that will help you find everything in the morning.
4. You really prefer the word misplace. It somehow sounds a lot more responsible and a lot less morbid than saying IT’S LOST FOREVER.
5. You are constantly waiting for the day when fanny packs come back into style. Because it’s impossible to lose things when you have a fanny pack. That day will be the day that changes everything.
6. You always lose your glasses. And they’re always on your head.
7. You’re in desperate need of a Find my iPhone feature that works for EVERY SINGLE THING you own.
8. Fall is always an exciting time for you. Because it means putting on all your old jackets and finding things in the pockets that you haven’t seen for ages.
9. Every time you go to the airport or anywhere important, you check for the same 5 things over and over and over. Phone? Wallet? Charger? License? Laptop? Whatever you’re bringing, you feel the need to check for it all a hundred times, because you know yourself, and you know there’s an 87% chance that you’ll lose something.
10. Sometimes, when you try to have an “organizing day,” it just makes everything worse. You’ve found that you have an easier time finding things when it’s all under your system of controlled chaos, as opposed to perfectly labeled boxes and drawers.
11. Your keys are constantly disappearing, and you swear that there’s some kind of ghost playing a trick on you. Because there’s no way that you’re responsible for every single bizarre place you’ve finally found your keys: inside the refrigerator, the kitchen cabinet, under your bed, inside a pair of pants that you haven’t even worn recently.
12. A standard morning for you, after a night out, always involves calling the bar to ask if they possibly have your credit card.
13. When you can’t find something and someone tries to help by saying, “Where was the last place you left it?” you have to refrain yourself from punching them in the face. And then you remember that you can’t even be annoyed with them because you’re the goober that lost something in the first place.
14. You’re always the last one to leave the pregame. Because somehow, in the space of one to two hours, you somehow lose every possession you take out with you.
15. You have to buy new pairs socks every couple of months, because somehow your sock drawer is only ever full of SINGLE socks and it’s THE WORST AND HOW DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN.
16. For most people, re-packing their suitcase at the end of a trip is super easy. But for you, it’s a long and difficult journey. You usually have to spend half a day tracking down everything you brought with you.
17. You are that shopper that returns to the store in a panic, asking if they have the various bags that you’re pretty sure you left in their dressing room.
18. You still think about toys you lost at the beach or at the pool as a child. And you’re still not over it.